


summer, sex and rock 'n' roll

by geniewish



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Based in London, Body Worship, Bottom Yoo Kihyun, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Lowercase, M/M, Multi, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Smut, Tattoos, all my hyungki fics have body worship lol, guitarist hyungwon, its both poly and open from certain sides, kihyun is soft, tattooed hyunghyuk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-14 18:11:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16045844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geniewish/pseuds/geniewish
Summary: they are the dangers of the town, bandits, heathens, self-proclaimed gangsters. they are the bosses, the guards, the local yakuza. everyone in the area knows there are symbols of three different mafia clans inked on their bodies, dirtied skin that hides the mark of death, immortal taboo that keeps the locals alert and scared. and god save those who get in their way.orthe beatles sing about love, the rolling stones try to find satisfaction, queen make the show go on, and kihyun... kihyun never wants this summer to end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is the promised tattooed hyunghyuk and kihyun fic i screamed about on twt!
> 
> so the setting is really weird, but dont judge me i did what i could lmao
> 
> hope you enjoy! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!

hyungwon and minhyuk are the dangers of the town, bandits, heathens, self-proclaimed gangsters. they walk the roads like they paved them, smirk at strangers like those are the pawns in their gang, spin their baseball bats around like they patrol the area and threaten with their presence alone, spread the mist of hazard. they are the bosses, they are the guards, they are the local yakuza, and everyone knows them by their obnoxiously bleached hair and the observing squint of their brown exotic eyes, their leather jackets and heavy boots, letters on their fingers and motorcycles parked wherever they want. 

they are the dangers of the area, they are untouchable, because everyone knows - you touch them, you get a bat in you face and spit on your clothes, and you can only beg for them to not put out their cigarettes off your skin. no one dares to take the risk. they are the danger. 

everyone in the area knows there are symbols of three different mafia clans inked on their bodies, even though no one has ever seen them in real life because hyungwon and minhyuk always wear clothes that cover them from neck to toe, and everyone knows they leave their secret dark apartments so the familiar dark van takes them to their base in chinatown, to their chinese bosses, because no one really knows where they are from. everyone only knows one thing - hyungwon and minhyuk are the danger. and pray to god you don't get in their way when they bring the rest of their gang with them. 

this legend really helps when hyungwon leaves his typical-looking, edwardian, attached white house with a cute front garden with multiple hydrangea bushes somewhere in west kilburn early in the morning to get to work on time; when a shady looking man in dirty sweats stumbles down his street leering at him from under his hood with high-glazed eyes; when hyungwon passes by mrs jones house and gives her a smile and a wave because she's always awake at seven and watering her overgrown roses; when the sky is light grey and sunless and it looks like the world has come to an extinction. 

it helps when his motorcycle is in repair, when minhyuk sleeps in someone else's bed, and a way to the tube station is a fifteen-minute walk, and hyungwon can't be bothered with another junkie approaching him and asking for a cigarette he is about to light. 

public streets are always loud. really, mornings are made for sleeping, not drilling another broken road or scamming poor lost tourists. what did they even forget there at such an ungodly hour? who knows. hyungwon shrugs and walks past a very familiar man he sees circling around the station every other day - he's looking for a fight. the tube is fairly empty, and it's good when the ride to shoreditch is forty minutes and hyungwon has only slept for two hours last night. 

he lives in the north west, works in the east end, crosses the entire london centre pretty much every day, sometimes doesn't sleep between his night and morning shifts, but he's happy. he's happy to enter his bar-restaurant on a thursday morning, shake hands with james and caleb and listen to their night adventures, clean the counter, serve rare morning customers, take a break and accept another booked night performance. he's happy to wait until midday, walking around without his apron at the least busy time of the day, and he's the happiest when minhyuk finally comes for his shift, and they run around through lunch, now in their aprons and with tiny notepads in hands, and hyungwon is back to just being happy when he waves minhyuk and harry a see you tomorrow and leaves to spend the rest of the evening practicing with his band, waiting for minhyuk to join them at midnight. 

despite the familiarity, life is never a routine for him. the booked performance is in an old school beer pub somewhere in whitechapel, and rocksta x has never played there before. they practice metallica and led zeppelin, let changkyun take a seat with his acoustic guitar and lead the unforgiven, and the customers cheer with them. will, the owner of the pub and a good friend of hyungwon's, distributes free beers to them during the break, and they pack up at about one am. minhyuk stays over at hyungwon's. he left his pup, jurassic, a big brown labrador, enough food to last him a lifetime, and hyungwon can sleep with an easy heart knowing that his boyfriend hasn't lost the last of his mind yet. they don't want to repeat the time when the poor creature nearly bit hyungwon's leg off when minhyuk showed up at his own door to a hungry and very aggressively depressed pet. 

jurassic is the danger of the area too. he salivates like a machine, jumps to smear his wet tongue all over minhyuk's face, whines when jooheon teases him with a steak they collectively grilled at the back of minhyuk's yard, but he's a good boy, and he doesn't like intimidating-looking strangers eyeing hyungwon's form. he growls to scare the pretentious gang away, and hyungwon earns the title of the monster owner. grannies love him though, they love them both - they adore jurassic too. kilburn's grannies are nice - they go to the mosque, carry groceries twice as heavy as their entire bodies just so hyungwon can walk past and help them hold the bags as they cross the road, and ask him if he found a girlfriend yet. 

on a sunday hyungwon takes his mother out for a walk, prolongs the stay of his motorcycle in a repair for another day because he's a dutiful son, and they stroll around the brick lane market for god knows how long. hyungwon doesn't understand why his mum loves vintage and second-hand so much when she lives in a nice house in fulham. he'd rather she walks around harrods and takes pictures of pretty gold cutlery like a good mother she is than put colourful handmade hats on his head and complain about his hair being too damaged. minhyuk usually spends his weekends working in a tattoo studio, so it's hyungwon's job to phone his boyfriend's mother too and talk about the same old stuff. the elderly woman is more interested in whether jurassic eats a lot and if her son is taking care of him well, and hyungwon giggles at the memory of the dog biting a stranger's ass for carrying fresh fish in his bag as he recalls the story on the phone. 

getting back home with guitars on their backs past midnight is now a lot calmer when hyungwon finally picks up his well-restored motorcycle, and they race to hyungwon's place through the poorly-lit streets. a beaten up kia driver curses loudly behind them when minhyuk nearly bumps into the vehicle, and hyungwon already runs up the two stone stairs in front of his house with keys in hand. minhyuk grips his waist from behind and bites into his neck, and hyungwon screams, dropping his keys, and his boyfriend opens the door first, announcing his victory to woken up sootball and harpy that pad into the corridor with obviously disappointed looks on their little faces. harpy may be called harpy, but she doesn't meow when she's tired, and hyungwon scolds minhyuk for disturbing his babies' rest, picking the poor cat up and stroking her distressed soft head. minhyuk grabs a bottle of beer from the fridge, runs upstairs and probably plops onto the bed in his dirty jeans, and hyungwon stays in the kitchen for another ten minutes, helping sootball get soft black fur out of his shedding back, and unhappily lets go of the fluffy source of his happiness because he needs to sleep. he knows - he stays with his children for a minute longer and he never gets his well-deserved sleep, another source of his happiness. 

minhyuk is unshowered but at least undressed, and they fuck intensely enough for hyungwon to never want to leave the bed for such a trivial thing as shower, so they fall asleep for good, and thoughts of the next day is never something that comes around. events flow, just like the ink on their bodies that forms waves and curly branches, faces and letters, lines and shapes. 

it's good like that. 

 

in the afternoon, when he has a night shift and a whole day free, hyungwon plays richard, his black glassy ibanez grg, and fills the acoustic space of his white-walled living room with the timid throaty tunes of a random punk song he hums to. sootball and harpy are inside, chilling on the windowsill and enjoying the rare rays of sunshine that refract through the glass and leave distorted white spots on the light wooden floor. his soft balls of happiness are similar to him in many ways, although they are short-haired and don't grow much fur, so unlike hyungwon's long mess on his head. some of his friends complain that he starves his cats when neither of the three of them can really do anything about their genetics, so the seemingly thin and unfluffy appearance of his kids puts his new acquaintances off, which upsets hyungwon greatly. but that's alright, more reasons to give more love to his precious squishes. 

sootball is a long black gremlin, always lurking but immediately relaxing once hyungwon strucks a note. he looks like he's ready to rip someone's throat, gaze of his upturned yellow eyes on his elongated face somehow intimidating, but hyungwon knows better - if sootball jumps on you and bites your fingers, he loves you with his entire tiny heart. harpy with pretty caramel and cinnamon splashes all over her white fur is loud when she isn't tired, walks around in the backyard on her own when minhyuk comes over, basks in the sun on the windowsill and sleeps on hyungwon's chest, and he frequently wakes up to little claws tugging at his skin as his baby is blissfully dreaming about something nice. minhyuk does that too. 

hyungwon lazily picks at the strings, somehow tracks every note with the back of his mind, thinks of lyrics and stops occasionally to write down some notes. maybe they should play green day this saturday. the bar is pretty punk, filled with fairly young people that come for something more alternative than an expensive cocktail and club music. you can never bring metal to soho, but you can to camden town - hyungwon had to learn it a hard way - and maybe they can stick to blink-182 and sex pistols and even play some nirvana out of nowhere if the crowd is completely dead. 

hyungwon drops down a few more songs on the list and gets bored. he is the lead guitarist, and although jooheon adamantly argues that he's the one that carries the whole band on the surface of his bass drums, hyungwon quietly believes it's him and richard and the solos they play together. hyungwon changes the setting on the amplifier, starts the first jimmy page tune that comes to his mind, and watches the way his hands run up and down the frets, how his fingers interchange and know every single note they have to play on their own, how the strings bend with the practiced power hyungwon possesses and release a sound that runs all the way to his right hand. there is a tattoo on the inside of his forearm, stretching from the elbow to the wrist in a form of six strings. thin wires of vine circle around the steel, and the clean space in between the strings is the only area uncovered on both of his arms. the drawing makes him feel connected to the instrument in the strange transcendent way he can't quite explain. it's as if his limb elongates into the actual strings, and when he picks at them, the sound rushes down his body like water. it makes him a part of the guitar, and the guitar a part of his arm, and although it's on the inside and isn't visible for the rest of the world when he's playing, it gives him the security that it's there - the connection. him and richard. richard and him. 

minhyuk comes over a bit later, after another client. he has a spare key, so hyungwon never gets distracted, and they have a lot of time together before they both need to get ready for the night shirt. 

"’ey," the living room is directly in front of the door, and hyungwon always sets his amplifier in the middle of it, between where the couches and the tv are and the open kitchen, right in front of the glass doors with shabby white frames that lead to the back yard. hyungwon is always the first thing minhyuk sees when he comes in. 

hyungwon hums a greeting back, and minhyuk throws his bag on the floor and comes from behind, throwing his fully inked arms over his boyfriend's shoulders and smooching him on a cheek. 

"oi, stop, i'm trying to concentrate." hyungwon smiles nevertheless and turns his head around to let minhyuk kiss him properly. 

"i'm gonna nap," minhyuk informs, grabs sootball from where he is nuzzling his leg, and runs upstairs. it's usually a cue for hyungwon to drop all his things and follow the other man. 

 

the night is busy. hyungwon runs around without a break and he can brush his long bleached bangs back to the point they stay in the same position with how sweaty they are already. minhyuk is luckier in that sense. he's always behind the counter, mixing drinks in his white shirt, sleeves rolled up and sinewy tattooed forearms on display, and he's joking around with the customers, and his smile is brighter than the lights above the counter. hyungwon hesitates on the spot, too enamoured to move and dispatch the order. it's his daily suffering. 

"eddie, three guinness!" patrick shouts from across the bar, and minhyuk winks at him with thumbs up. 

at one a.m. hyungwon squeezes himself behind the counter and pushes minhyuk out, because hyungwon is tired and the other is still full of energy, so it's only fair. 

"ale-e-e-ex." hyungwon whips his head up and sees his friend jamie pushing through the crowd to get to the bar, and hyungwon puts the drink he was mixing back down and raises his hand in a handshake. 

"how you doing mate?" and the nights in the bar go something like that. it's familiar, sometimes exhausting, but hyungwon is happy, surrounded by people, music and even minhyuk. 

 

the night shift means they have a free afternoon on tuesday, which hyungwon and minhyuk spend at minhyuk's rehearsing the setlist for the punk night on saturday, because that's the only booking they have this week. 

jooheon is busy, changkyun is in the studio getting tattooed, hyungwon is being attacked by jurassic and minhyuk broke a string on his bass for the thousandth time. the practice doesn't go smoothly, hyungwon's face is covered in the dog's spit because he hasn't visited in a while and the poor creature missed him, and minhyuk really needs to vent about that guy he met at their bar a week ago and who refuses to pay for his dinner. the funny thing about minhyuk is that he earns enough to afford a house somewhere in kensington (maybe a bit of a stretch, but the point stands), but he still prefers to stay living five minutes away from hyungwon in the same old west kilburn, park his car outside in the street instead of his own lawn he could have had, go to the tube station coffee shop and not starbucks, and take a whole hour to get to his job. minhyuk doesn't mind somehow, and hyungwon is happy. 

hyungwon's house is his own. he rents it, he loves it, he has a nice yard and enough space for a whole party, but how cool will it be if they combine their efforts and buy a funky-coloured three-storey house somewhere in notting hill, pretend to be hollywood stars and have an even bigger garden for jurassic, sootball and harpy to play in. they can get another dog or two. another cat. another human. one wise man once said, best things usually come in threes. 

"let's get out?" hyungwon suggests when he finally gives up and just lies dead on the floor as jurassic salivates somewhere next to his head, before the big dog just puts his head on his stomach and hyungwon releases one final hoarse gasp. 

"where?" minhyuk asks, concentrated frown deep between his eyebrows as he screws the new string back into the instrument. 

"don't know. let's go shop and then go directly to work." hyungwon suggests in the calmest tone before jurassic twists his head and lies deeper into his stomach, and hyungwon croakes some more. 

"sure." minhyuk throws the special screwer away on the floor and wipes his forehead. he didn't even strain, that dramatic asshole. minhyuk clicks his tongue repeatedly and slaps his thighs, and jurassic jumps up like after seeing a wasp and runs to his owner, and hyungwon releases a deep exhale, finally freed. 

they rush to shoreditch in minhyuk's car, hyungwon drives, they scream to radio music and spend ten minutes looking for a parking space. car drivers shoo away in fear, shaking gazes run over their shining maserati quattroporte, aggressive face of their maroon baby chasing all the locals to the sides, freeing their pathway, and tourists turn around in fear. come they to chinatown in this car, they’ll be offered free tea at jen’s, dumplings to take away and maybe even an offer to hire a bloke or two for their gang. except their gang plays guitars and takes home stray animals, but other than that - they’d never say no to free food. 

the day is surprisingly sunny, and hyungwon should've exchanged his leather jacket for a shirt to tie around his hips, but an image is an image and sometimes suffering is crucial. minhyuk looks good with sunglasses, and coupled with his bleached hair parted to the side he can pass as a model, if only he didn't walk like he was on a stroll in beverly hills and over-exaggerated the impact his existence brings upon the ground he stomps on. he makes hyungwon laugh sometimes. 

minhyuk goes to one of the second-hand shops he's been visiting for years now, and hyungwon decides to wait for him outside with a cigarette and instagram feed. it's too bright to distinguish anything on his phone screen. the sun is too fucking powerful for this city with its short buildings, and hyungwon quietly groans at the lack of protection from the tattoos' worst enemy. there are people everywhere, even though it's the middle of the week, but the summer is approaching with unmerciful speed and everyone is slowly but surely freeing themselves from all their duties and businesses they don't really want to do. hyungwon can't relate - he loves his jobs, loves his life, and summer has always been a time for traveling and hourly sex rather than granted freedom from all the burdens he doesn't have. 

hyungwon looks around some more, squints at the street opposite, checking out tourists and guessing locals. finding someone in this area is never a good idea for him - high chance of meeting someone he knows, someone who knows someone he knows, someone he rejected and someone minhyuk knows. they've spent too much time exploring the streets, drinking in every single bar and eating in every single cafe. hyungwon just generally knows london streets no worse than sherlock in the bbc adaptation, he spent his entire lifetime here. 

it's shocking when his eyes catch onto something almost alien-like. a guy. it wouldn't have been that unusual or comically sounding if hyungwon didn't catch onto something peculiar about him. he's dressed like a trendy english man, not a full-time londoner but not a tourist either, which automatically excludes the possibility of hyungwon knowing him and possibly his surrounding. he's short, albeit well-built, he's asian and he's drop dead pretty, even from the distance. it's not unusual, but he's spinning around hesitantly, looking at his phone and squinting at the street signs, and hyungwon forgets about his smoldering cigarette as he realises it. the stranger is so his type it hurts. 

he's probably from another city and came to visit london for the summer, and hyungwon can trust his skill in deducting where one is from based on their clothing style. the little guy is sporting the fashion that's very inherent to english youth, except he's wearing round golden glasses on his nose and looks like a lost child, and hyungwon wants to coo. he should approach the guy before he figures out how to find whatever he's looking for, and hyungwon is grateful for his friendly open mentality that allows him to walk up to strangers and smile at them with all his might and lovestrike their hearts. he only has to wait for minhyuk, and off he goes. 

his boyfriend appears a second later with a bag in his hand, and hyungwon grabs his wrist and leads him across the pedestrian, and it's as if the green light flashes there just for him.

"what's going on?" minhyuk asks, confused. 

"that guy is so fucking cute," he whispers into the other's ear, and his target is terrifyingly close, just a few large steps away. "i want to befriend him."

minhyuk hums like he's making a judgement, and hyungwon knows without sparing a glance that he just raised his eyebrow in a gesture that either means approval or disapproval, and they're only a step away. the stranger is hunched so much over his phone it seems like his back is going to break, and he looks so absolutely tiny compared to hyungwon's six-foot-tree of a body. 

they cast two long scary shadows over the little man, and he looks up, and his small eyes are sharp and sparkling, and he curves his eyebrows in question. hyungwon kind of forgets what he was meant to say; the guy looks even better up close, and hyungwon wants to gather all the oil from his triangular arched nose and wipe the sweat off his forehead - it's too fucking hot for this city right now. 

"hi," hyungwon locates his voice somewhere deep in his throat and smiles brightly. "are you lost?" he curves his eyebrows in question, and his manners should impose all the friendliness he's trying to put on. 

"uh," the other guy says intelligently, and his eyes move from hyungwon to minhyuk and back, then to his phone and up, and he smiles, forcefully and suspiciously. "i think so?" 

hyungwon mentally coos and squeals. the stranger has an accent, not as traceable from just three words, but hyungwon studied english and american films diagonally and across for his degree and he distinguishes more that he wishes he does. he also doesn't miss the slight lisp on the 'so', and maybe puts his hands on his chest with inability to hide the immediately endearment he feels.

"where you goin’?" minhyuk asks, voice somehow more serious and less friendly compared to hyungwon’s, and the latter whips his head at his boyfriend fast to glare at him. 

the stranger seems to hesitate, really taken aback by the sudden attack two tall tattooed men surprise him with. he seems a bit scared, even. fair enough, london isn't the safest, but no one goes manhunting in the middle of the day on a crowded street, and no one who's going manhunting looks as appealing as hyungwon and minhyuk do. it's just unrealistic. 

"don't worry, we're not going to do anything, i just thought you were cute, is all," hyungwon raises his hands in defense and smiles some more, and the stranger now stretches his lips in embarrassment, probably at the sudden compliment. realistically, hyungwon reasons, the cute guy should feel a little bit more relaxed seeing that the interrogating creepy men are of the same origins and don't carry their baseball bats with them, but maybe it's their daily attire that puts the other guy off. in the end, hyungwon does have the words 'free' and 'love' written in old english text font on his phalanges, and there's a gothic spider spreading its web from the middle of the back of his hand. maybe the fair-skinned stranger has a stereotypical mind. 

"well, i wasn't going anywhere particular yet," but no, hyungwon was right, the stranger relaxes, and with every new flowing word he is more and more able to place the accent somewhere far away from them on the globe. "but i was looking for a place to sit down in to wait for my friends." the stranger looks down like he's still shy, and hyungwon's heartbeat picks up. 

"we're actually working at a restaurant, so if you're still looking you should try out our fries instead." hyungwon smiles, and the stranger twitches his eyebrows in something that looks like distrust and polite rejection. hyungwon doesn't like giving up and extends his hand, "i'm alex, by the way, and this weirdo here is ed." minhyuk opens his mouth in pretense offense at the 'weirdo', and the stranger smiles normally. 

"i'm kihyun," he shakes hyungwon's hand unwillingly, and a lamp in the latter's head buzzes. 

"are you, by any chance, korean?" hyungwon asks, and the cute guy's face brightens up on the count of one. 

"i am," he replies, and hyungwon gasps. 

"i thought so! what are you doing in london?" he asks in full fluent korean, and kihyun smiles to show his very nice teeth. he hears minhyuk click his tongue and roll his eyes somewhere behind him. 

the cute guy switches to perfect korean, confesses in how he'd never think hyungwon and minhyuk are of the same origin, and hyungwon chuckles. 

"no-no, hyuk doesn't speak korean," he smacks his boyfriend's shoulder, and minhyuk clicks his tongue again, pinching him as a revenge. "he never learned it even though i pestered him all through the first year of our acquaintance to have at least a little bit of interest."

kihyun doesn't quite seem to notice that they all started moving in the direction of the restaurant and he looks really excited to be able to speak his native language. 

"let's switch to english though, minhyuk feels excluded." hyungwon ruffles his boyfriend's hair. "are you studying here?"

"i'm studying in manchester, actually, and came to london to visit my friends. i don't come here often, so i get a little bit lost sometimes." kihyun elaborates as they leisurely walk along one of the shadiest streets, and hyungwon feels ecstatic. he just needed a pinch of his language skills to gain the other man's trust.

"undergrad?"

"yeah," kihyun has a fairly quiet voice and calm expressions, small hands he sometimes gestures with and huge round glasses that never slide down his nose, and hyungwon puts this jealousy-filled thought at the back of his mind. "i'm doing english and linguistics. what about you guys?"

it is adorable how kihyun is still nervous. the sun might not shine in the street, but minhyuk and hyungwon still feel like huge scary shadows towering over a lost child, and hyungwon might have gotten alarmed too if he wasn't himself. 

"english? so you're humanities," minhyuk exclaims and looks kihyun up and down. "you don't look like it."

kihyun chuckles nervously. "what do i look like?"

minhyuk hums, and hyungwon gives him a stare. "i dunno, engineering or somethin', maybe med’cine, wha’ever clever kids do nowadays." hyungwon rolls his eyes and kihyun smiles again, taking minhyuk's words as a compliment. it's cute, kihyun's smile. brightens up his entire face and hyungwon's mood. 

the get to their workplace faster than expected, and hyungwon possibly feels disappointed. kihyun is extremely cute. hyungwon always had the eye for what was truly good. 

"so, this is where we work, you can sit down and i'll ask to bring you some chips - they're delicious." hyungwon kisses the tips of his thumb and index fingers together and makes a funny face, and gordon ramsay has nothing on his food promoting strategies. 

their shift isn't supposed to start until half an hour from now, but caleb waves at them from the back of the bar and shouts a sneaky "starting work early today then?", and minhyuk rushes to the counter to choke their colleague. 

"you drink?" hyungwon asks and sits down opposite kihyun who found a nice table by the wall in the corner closest to the entrance. 

"not so early in the day, no." kihyun smiles slightly and looks around the dark brown walls, parodical crests and posters hanging off them, small number of visitors at this time in the afternoon, minhyuk tying his apron around his waist. hyungwon takes off his leather jacket and hangs it on the back of the chair, and kihyun's eyes quickly wander over his exposed arms, ink trailing all the way to the sleeves and the rest hidden under the clothes. it's obvious the other man tries not to stare, tries to remain polite and respectful, but hyungwon lives too wild a life to care about things like respective boundaries. 

"that's fine, but you have to try our chips." hyungwon looks at the other man expectantly to make sure he has his word, and kihyun nods. hyungwon gets up, grabs his jacket and goes to the backroom to get ready for the next eight hours. 

 

kihyun stays alone and contemplates his existence. he should be used to random people approaching him with the most random requests, considering he lives in the north capital and parties in the weirdest places the city can offer, but it's rare he finds them good-looking and barely intimidating. his mother always told him - don't talk to strangers, but that was exactly how he met hoseok, so restrictive lifestyle was not in his taste anymore. if only his good old mother knew they met at the fetish party and hoseok was dressed in a white bunny costume and jumping on all fours around the place because he took a little bit more than he planned to. kihyun was in his way, and hoseok accidentally pushed him on the floor and made him spill his drink on himself, and suddenly the other guy wasn't high anymore and was jumping on him now to make sure he didn't burn himself (with cold vodka-redbull drink). some details parents just shouldn't know.

alex comes back with a plate of very nice-looking chips and a cup of coffee, he's wearing a dark maroon apron and he seems even taller like that, like this long piece of fabric is too short for him. his thin inked arms put everything in front of kihyun, and his gaze accidentally slides along the inner forearm of his right hand, where straight metal wires are interrupted by someone's spiked scaly tail on the inside of his elbow before the tattoo disappears into the sleeve of his t-shirt. there's another scenario on the other side of his forearm, mystic creatures fighting, forests and the moon filling out the empty space, but nothing get between the wired strings. they don't fit into the composition, they're so out of place on the canvas full of claws and fangs and jaws and prey eyes and brutality that kihyun can't help but feel the growing interest somewhere at the front of his mind. it's very clear, the curiosity. curiosity kills, kihyun, curiosity kills. 

"the coffee is on the house. tell your friends to come here and order more food." alex smiles and leaves, and kihyun is pleasantly surprised that the other man remembers that he's actually waiting for his friends, even though he only mentioned it briefly. this guy is fit, really damn hot, and kihyun is somehow glad that he also speaks his language. he always bonds with people over his love for languages, over his acquired bilingualism, over talks about cultural diversity and how expensive traveling from one end of the planet to the other is.

kihyun can't quite help glancing at the bar occasionally. alex faces back to him, leaning on the counter and talking to a bartender, one leg bent and the other long and thin and curved, and he could be a model. the next time kihyun looks over the other man serves another customer, ruffles his hair and brushes the long bleached bangs back, walks behind the counter and stands next to the other guy he met but whose name he forgot, shoulders touching, and they say something to each other with tiny smiles. kihyun wonders if they're dating. they have exactly the same style, they could be close friends or even cousins, but kihyun knows it when he sees it - the loving looks. hoseok has the same in his eyes when he looks at his boyfriend, although they rarely see each other and that can be the reason for the exaggerated affection.

alex comes back to his table in a few minutes and hands over a piece of paper. it’s a flyer.

“this is a really cool bar in camden town, we’re performing there this saturday. you should come.” the other smiles, and kihyun takes the offered piece of paper. “do you like rock?” and suddenly the world makes sense. this is why alex is the way he is, he plays rock. he plays? kihyun has always liked guys who were talented in the musical sphere, what if alex is a singer? or plays an instrument? guitar or piano would fit him really well, he has long fingers and big hands – not that kihyun was looking at them at all.

“i’m into any kind of music, to be honest. i think i would like some rock on a lonely saturday evening.” kihyun cringes at himself a little bit for giving away his miserable plans just like that, but alex just laughs and lightly pats him on a shoulder with his warm big palm. he has such an attractive smile. kihyun can’t be blamed for always fancying men like tom hiddleston and jude law when they smile the way they do, and alex might as well fit his type, with his tiny wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and scrunched up nose and straight teeth. this is ridiculous. that guy literally snatched him off the streets and asked him personal questions, called him cute and tricked him into walking through shady streets with them just to then smile cutely and ruffle his hair.

“my saturday evenings would probably be lonely too if it weren’t for the band.” alex comments and gets ready to leave when kihyun comes back to his senses and remembers the question that intrigues him the most.

“what’s your position in the band?”

alex grins, throws a cheeky “come to the show and find out,” and turns around to leave and continue doing his job. now that’s even more ridiculous. he can’t just flirt with him out of nowhere. kihyun’s mum would shake her head, grab his hand and drag him the fuck away from this place, from that man, from that city, from england, after all. but his mama isn’t here, and kihyun never felt obliged to tell her anything anyways, so maybe he will let a tiny smile grace his lips. ridiculous. alex can be anyone: a criminal with a stable job and a hobby, pretty smiles and art-worthy body proportions, yet kihyun decides it’s okay for him to make his heart flutter. ridiculous, simply ridiculous.

 

hyungwon runs to the nearest food store to get an extra kilogram of potatoes his stupid colleagues accidentally burned and comes back to kihyun having a company. it’s two wide-shouldered asian men, they both sit opposite the small guy, and kihyun smiles at them, and hyungwon’s heart is very much endeared. kihyun is cute when he smiles genuinely.

james is the one serving their table, and that lightly stabs hyungwon with a needle in his chest, because there is no point for him to approach their table now. minhyuk shoos him to work, smacks his arm with a wet cloth, makes hyungwon yelp, and kihyun turns into his direction at that. their eyes meet, kihyun gives him a tiny smile with the corners of his mouth, and hyungwon takes it upon himself to clean their table once the three get ready to leave.

the table calls for a bill, james brings it, hyungwon cleans the dishes, kihyun avoids the eye contact, and hyungwon wavers between sighing with disappointment and cooing. kihyun is cute, shy maybe, but cute, and hyungwon wants to see him again. james takes the plate with cash, and hyungwon carefully watches the men at the table. they’re not leaving yet, which means they’re waiting for the change. that’s an opportunity – hyungwon doesn’t need to approach the small guy directly, he can be slightly more original. he snatches the plate with change from his colleague’s hand, grabs a pen and writes his number and his known name on the check before confidently walking back to the desired table.

kihyun looks up, another opportunity. hyungwon smiles, how he would call, mysteriously, and holds the eye contact as he puts the plate back on the table, and kihyun frowns and looks down. hyungwon leaves and hides behind the counter, peeking over the table slightly to see the small guy taking the bill, shaking his head incredulously when he notices the digits and hiding it in the pocket of his jeans. hyungwon whispers a tiny ‘yes’ and squeezes his hands into fists in a victorious gesture, then minhyuk slaps him with a wet cloth again but this time on his back, and hyungwon goes back to work, sentimental fluttering in his heart remaining. 

 

hyungwon knows minhyuk will easily recognise there is something wrong when instead of their saturday tracklist he strums sad chords to lana del rey’s love songs and stares at the white wall of his living room. he can’t really help it. can’t help having kihyun on his mind, his huge round glasses and the cute way he smiles, his tiny hands and his precious accent. hyungwon has always been easy at heart, falling for people right and left, and falling out of love just as quickly. so when ‘video games’ come on the mental shuffle in his head and his fingers automatically play the riffs he arranged years ago, minhyuk raises his head from where it was hunched over a piece of paper and raises his eyebrow.

“you alright?” is all he asks, and hyungwon shakes his head to the tune. his fingers have brains of their own, they dance over the strings, jump from one fret to the one five notes down, and never coordinate with the thoughts in his head. it’s handy like this. 

“kihyun.” he utters mysteriously, and minhyuk sighs with a groan. sootball jumps on the table and curiously looks at ten different ink pens sprayed all over the surface.

“you’ll just speak korean with ‘im and ignore me, i don’t ‘preciate this, yeah?” minhyuk goes back to drawing, and sootball thinks it’s some kind of a game and tries to catch his boyfriend’s fast arm with his precious black paws. kihyun’s hands are like paws too. even his hair is black. maybe he is a humanised kitten? maybe sootball thinks he doesn’t receive enough love, runs away, finds a witch and asks her to transform him into a beautiful human? human at night, cat during the day. 

“one time you brought a spanish bloke home, cooked paella with him and made him teach you some more spanish because you got him at the part where you told him you considered writing your dissertation on spanish painters.” hyungwon finishes the song and starts on ‘get free’.

minhyuk sighs. “so what.”

hyungwon raises his head to look at the other with dead emotionless eyes. “except you didn’t distinguish what was baroque and what was renaissance, fucked it and said that italian painters were better anyways.”

“so. what.”

“he swore at you in spanish, then you tried to make him come back to the bedroom in italian, and all this time i was sitting alone on your couch and crying on rassic’s warm shoulder.” hyungwon switches the tune and looks up again with wide black unreadable eyes, voice groovy. “i was the only one who knew spanish out of the two us.”

minhyuk drops his pen and looks at him angrily. “and your point is?”

hyungwon drops the act and looks down at the guitar. “i don’t know. no point. just a funny story i love to remind you of.”

his boyfriend rolls his eyes and goes back to drawing. “i just don’t like feelin’ excluded from talks, okay.”

“you won’t be.” hyungwon starts on ‘dark paradise’, contemplates his existence and barely registers minhyuk approaching and squatting in front of him.

“i’m kiddin’. don’t be lovesick, yeah? you gave ‘im your number.” minhyuk smiles gently, and hyungwon stops moving. he turns his head abruptly to looks at his boyfriend and his eyes are shining. 

“i did, you’re right!” and his fingers set off a traditional russian folklore song that he always assumes is about love, and suddenly, life is great. 

 

kihyun decides against texting alex beforehand and goes to the bar to hopefully surprise him. it’s camden, it can’t be that dodgy, even though the place looks like an asylum for stray rockers and junkies, and it smells like weed. it’s not a bad smell, but kihyun came purely to see the guy that flirted at him earlier this week and get some beer for half the price he would usually get beer for. the lighting is toxic green, the walls are stone cold, and the bar is overflowed with the young and not so young people that refuse to pay more than three and a half quid for a pint. 

kihyun comes earlier than planned, he gets his beer, and it’s stereo music blasting through the speakers, but looks like the stage is getting ready. nothing ever starts before midnight. midnight is the time for adventures, time for love and alcohol, time for life and all the things good and not so good. kihyun came with the intention to stay.

alex and his band better be good. kihyun doesn’t even know whether they are going to play covers or their own music; kihyun doesn't know anything. but the excitement in his chest builds up anyways when a random guy comes onto the low stage and sits behind the drum kit. kihyun can’t see well in the dark, but the drummer has dark narrow eyes, red styled-up hair and tattoos running up his arms and hiding in the rolled up sleeves of his black shirt, and he remembers alex, that big spider in the webs on the back of his right hand and bleeding roses on the left, his ‘free love’ motto and vine-covered strings on the inside of his arm. kihyun doesn't see much point in tattoos, but the other man has the eye for pretty designs, good stroke and probably meaningful scenarios that only really make sense to him alone. or none at all, considering his friend’s knuckles are covered in a screaming ‘fake’ and a sweeping ‘fuck’ and don’t carry much ulterior meaning, as far as kihyun can judge. 

the drummer looks to the side, nods and smiles shortly, and his dimples look even deeper in the swampy green light of the club. the black metal door on the side opens, and three more guys come on stage, and kihyun finally allows himself to smile when he recognises alex, his weird friend from before and the third unknown person, and they’re all carrying guitars. alex is the guitarist, kihyun was right back then in the restaurant. the crowd offers encouraging cheers, and alex smiles sweetly, looking up from the amplifier he is setting up, and a few high-pitched screams resound through the public again. kihyun would honestly scream as well but the thought alone is embarrassing enough for him to resist it and instead gulp his beer. 

the other friend, whose name, kihyun starts to remember now, starts with an ‘e’ or a ‘d’ - something along the lines - is the bassist, and he fits surprisingly well with the whole image. the fourth guy, another guitarist, approaches the microphone after setting up and taps on it to check whether it’s working. his black hair is messy, his hands and arms and neck are covered in black ink, his nails are painted black, his black eyes are sharp, and he looks adorably small compared to the rest of the guys. especially alex. that huge tree of a man. 

then the guy by the mic grabs it by the neck and screams: 

“hi, we are rocksta x!” and his voice is deep, loud, raspy, rolls off every letter and cuts like a chainsaw. kihyun swallows more beer as to not laugh at the name, looks over the short figure of the guy as much as he can with his own height and the messy crowd around him and mentally coos. he would never guess it was that dude that shouted if he didn’t see it himself. he gives off the vibe of an aggressive puppy.

alex strikes the first note, and the music spreads through the club in full swing, jumping off the walls, vibrating in kihyun’s throat and shaking the beer in his glass, and the night goes on. the short black-haired guy is the main vocalist, he groans and shouts, jumps around and forgets to play his own guitar, sprays himself with water, personifies punk with his entire body, and the crowd follows his every movement. kihyun has to move away when angry teenagers start moshing, spilling their own drinks and taking off their shirts, and the band has no intention of slowing down their music. 

aggressive punk finishes, the four guys take a break, the crowd moves in the general direction of the bar, and kihyun drinks his beer fast as he watches the way alex downs a suspicious brown shot of something and swallows it down with redbull, not frowning a tiny bit and shaking his head for energy, and he is all so cool with his long white hair and tattoos on his arms and a black electric guitar hanging off his shoulder, that kihyun possibly feels his heart skip a beat. that’s just unfair - kihyun always falls for the wrong kind. 

his friend, the bassist whose name still only starts with an ‘e’ or a ‘d’, takes a place by the second mic, the band starts playing again, and it’s green day, the band kihyun definitely didn’t expect to hear in a place like that. not that music and place have to match in any way, but he just started preparing himself for a metal outburst or something, so the sudden switch in tune takes him by the balls. 

the bassist sings well - hoarsely and coarsely, like a crow - but it sounds dynamic and somehow pleasant. it fits the short dude’s voice so well it’s like they are clones, only one is of higher range and the other one - of lower. fascinating, really. 

the crowd sings along, jumps along, goes into the crazy mode again, and kihyun watches alex’s fast fingers, his cool confident posture, his relaxed expression, how his parted hair moves with every slight shake of his head, his pressed together thick lips and the curve of his nose, and kihyun is enamoured. that’s it. he’s in love. 

he’s slightly caught off guard when nirvana starts playing but subconsciously bops his head to the music anyways, because the band is undoubtedly good and follows the rhythm perfectly. the bassist presses his mouth to the mic, the vocalist guy leaves his guitar on the floor and smokes, and alex plays the simple tune of ‘lithium’, and the bassist starts singing, lowly and calmly, paying no attention to the bass in his hands as his fingers know the pattern like kihyun knows all the plot points of ‘the great gatsby’. kihyun can’t help but smile when the breakdown hits and the whole crowd screams continuous ‘yeah’s in tune to minhyuk’s growls. the smoking vocalist joins them, and this is the best and most musically harmonical rock duet kihyun has ever heard. the men’s voices fit together better than anyone can imagine, even their unintentional cracks matching. the vocalist goes absolutely crazy now that his guitar is not needed, jumps around and puffs smoke into the crowd and into his own bandmates faces. someone threw a beer bottle into the air.

the smoking vocalist attaches his cigarette to alex’s lips, the tall man takes a drag and continues playing like his mind is only focused on his guitar. kihyun is fascinated. alex even smokes beautifully, exhaling with his lips stretched forward and eyes hooded and dark. then everyone starts jumping to another bunch of ‘yeah’s on the chorus, the drummer shakes his entire body, the bassist’s voice seems even more hoarse, and the vocalist kicks his own mic stand and shakes his head to the music like the true rocker he is. kihyun loves it, unconsciously, he wants to be that careless, pay no attention to the public’s eyes and just have and enjoy the time of his life.

the band takes a break, putting their guitars in the backroom and fishing into the crowd. kihyun is sad; there’s no way he can look for alex, no way he can see him, no way he can even talk to him. who knew the random encounter would end up like that.

kihyun stares at the empty plastic cup in his hand and contemplates his perishable existence when a heavily tattooed skinny hand appears in his eyesight and shoves a full cup of beer into the empty one, and kihyun looks up with an already growing smile on his face. 

“i’m glad you decided to come,” alex says and smiles, and kihyun is too busy looking at his glowing with sweat skin, smudged makeup on his eyelids, messy damp white hair that he brushes back. 

“i was bored anyways,” kihyun replies and raises his new full cup of beer, “thanks.”

alex chuckles, cheers with his own beer and drinks, and kihyun remembers not to stare at the other’s throat and how his adam’s apple bops up and down as he gulps the liquid thirstily. there’s a scarily realistic picture of an animal on the side of his neck, curved horns and long beard on the creature’s goatlike face, front hooves and a fishtail instead of the back legs. a capricorn. alex is a capricorn. 

“well, tell me, how do you like it so far?” the other asks and smiles down at him, and kihyun is very much aware of their height difference.

“it’s quite good, your band is great.” alex chuckles again, and it’s not really the atmosphere for hearty talks when there is barely any light and dark shadow-like bodies circle around them and loud rock shouts from the loudspeakers. kihyun wants the other to drag him into some dark backroom and kiss him hard, like the hard rocker he is. now that is definitely too much to ask for. 

“i’m glad you’re at least enjoying the music.” alex smiles, looking right into kihyun’s eyes, and there is something warm and bright in the tall man’s gaze, something genuine and sweet in his smile, and maybe they’re having a moment, a little spark flying between them, two young lovesick heroes waiting for that something they hoped they finally found in each other--

“aye gays,” the bassist guy jumps out of nowhere, wraps his arms around alex’s shoulders, cigarette in one hand and bottle of beer in the other, and alex extends his neck to reach for the hand with the cigarette in it that’s resting on the tall man’s shoulder. kihyun is startled and disappointed. alex and him totally had a moment just now. 

“come on, minhyuk, just give me a pack,” alex asks with his voice slightly whiny, and the bassist rolls his eyes but reaches for his pocket anyways. kihyun widens his eyes. he has a name?

“hold on, what’s your name again?” kihyun asks shamelessly, absolutely unbothered by the fact that the guy was already introduced to him a while ago; kihyun just didn’t find it important to remember. 

“name’s ed, but you can call me minhyuk ‘cause you can say it correctly.” minhyuk blows a puff of smoke into kihyun’s face, and he suddenly remembers that they are, in fact, compatriots. although they sound like native english speakers, unlike kihyun, who is a simple residential student. 

alex hums around the cigarette that he’s lighting, and once he takes a drag, nods at kihyun to get his attention. “call me hyungwon, that’s my birth name.”

kihyun unintelligently opens his mouth in wonder and just stares, simple names causing a slight earthquake within his brain. it takes a while for him to rearrange his thought process and change the labels while the two tall men simply look at him in amusement. why is he so short compared to them? it’s so unhandy in moments like these. 

“well, i gotta go,” hyungwon pats minhyuk on the back and nods him a goodbye, smiles mysteriously in kihyun’s direction and raises in eyebrow in a playful gesture kihyun can’t quite distinguish, and disappears into the crowd, leaving the bassist - the bassist with a name - and him alone. 

minhyuk stands right in front of him, smoking and drinking while studying his face, and kihyun feels uncomfortably scrutinised. then the other man smiles, cheers with his bottle like hyungwon did it a while ago and smiles so widely it’s like the toxic green light of the club collected in his teeth.

“you cute.” minhyuk says casually, and kihyun thanks all the deities he doesn’t believe in for making this place dark as hell. then the other man leans in, looks around conspiratorially and shout whispers through the music into kihyun’s ear, “now spill, your fave drag queen in rpdr?”

kihyun is caught off guard, confused, perplexed, but quickly catches minhyuk’s grin and narrowed glistening eyes. “you’re onto something, aren’t you?”

the other shrugs, “just checking if you’re intellectual. who d’you root for in game of thrones?”

kihyun doesn’t get the point of interrogations, but takes a relaxed pose anyways and goes with the flow of his love and beer-filled mind, “fuck houses when you have the dragons, they’re so fucking cute, who needs people in shows anyways?”

minhyuk’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and he points his glass at kihyun. “sexy!”

it’s a little hard to describe this minhyuk guy as a person. he is a little bit uncanny, extraordinary, like he can see through people’s souls and play on their nerves like on the bass, skillfully and with pride, and kihyun suddenly doesn’t feel as intimidated as he did earlier this week, doesn’t pretend like he forgot the other man’s name just to have a laugh, doesn’t wander off to hyungwon and his pretty smiles. minhyuk has some pretty smiles too. 

maybe they talk for a bit more than kihyun planned to, maybe the drummer dude is already waving at their bassist to come back on stage and continue the night, maybe kihyun doesn’t want to let go. it’s weird. it’s not bad but it’s not good. hyungwon was the one that stole his heart, this bassist who’s name either start with an ‘e’ or an ‘m’ wasn’t even in the picture originally. but kihyun doesn’t have the strength to scold his mind after three cups of beer now, after this full but short half an hour of conversation (monologue) with minhyuk over random music and tv shows, and he just admits that he’s always been a goner for cool guys. depends whether cool guys get as weak in their knees at cute little nerds as kihyun himself. maybe dreaming is allowed.

kihyun leaves the club eventually, takes a cab back to his airbnb because it’s ungodly late already, and send a quick message to hyungwon, the first one so far. 

‘i enjoyed tonight.’

he doesn’t really need to sign, hyungwon will understand. it will be nice if kihyun gets a sign that the other man - the both of them - want to see him again.

 

sunday, family time. minhyuk spends his early afternoon sleeping face down into the pillow and with jeans half undone, while hyungwon diligently gets out of the house before lunch and drives all the way to his family’s dwelling.

his parents bought out an elegant white victorian terraced house with a clean front porch and calm neighbours. their bushes seem greener than green and the windows are so polished they can serve as reflections of the depth of one’s soul. hyungwon’s motorcycle is loud in such a quiet street, and he only manages to put one foot on the ground when the front door opens and his mum with his little sister step outside.

“lizzie said she needs a new bag for school, help her choose something!” his mum shouts across the porch and waves him a goodbye as hyewon runs down the front stairs and right into his arms.

“hyung-won-nie!” his sister exclaims in his arms, and he kisses the top of her head.

“oxford street, again?” hyungwon asks with fake annoyance, and his sister takes his hand and drags him down the street to the tube station, because their mum doesn’t allow him to ride his sister on his motorcycle. she’s twelve, their mother says, she can tumble over and die. hyungwon usually just shrugs and squeezes the little hand slightly before matching to hyewon’s short but fast steps. 

they look contrasting. his sister has a long way to go, she’s small and cute and wears knee high socks with denim skirts because, apparently, the girls in her school are fashion gurus and know what they’re talking about. she pretends to understand makeup and even practices on hyungwon’s face to show her growing skills, but holds his hand when they go out, because ‘my brother is cool, i have to show him to the world’. it’s cute, really, when hyungwon, who doesn’t cheat on his black jeans and black t-shirts and black leather jacket even in the end of may, helps his little sister choose between a rosy leather bag or a hot pink sparkly backpack, and they eventually go with a holographic one, because hyewon is wearing holographic sneakers right now and she needs to match her outfit. 

they sit at five guys because it’s his sister’s favourite place and they make incredible milkshakes, and hyungwon decides it’s time to share some tea. he leans in like he’s about to share a secret, and he sister leans in too, all eyes and ears. 

“okay, help me,” he fishes his phone out of his jeans pocket and looks around again before opening instagram and quickly putting his phone into his sister’s waiting hands. “what do you think?”

hyungwon woke up early enough to process the fact that he saw kihyun the other night and that they had a chat and that he might have fully fallen in love. he had five minutes before driving over to his fam’s to ask for the other man’s state of mind (he didn’t drink much, but just in case) and instagram, and received an informative answer with a username. hyungwon feels so good he might as well just tattoo the date somewhere on his skin. maybe on one of that huge wolf’s teeth he has on his forearm. small and invisible. 

“hm,” hyewon hums, scrolling through the small guy’s account and judging all his aesthetic photos, selfies and party pics. the last ones were the most fun ones. “he’s cute,” his sister says in her small high voice, frowning and raising her eyebrows in order as she makes her judgement. “are you absolutely sure he’s into guys?” she asks with the most serious skeptic expression, and hyungwon wonders whether their mum taught her this much sass.

“sweetheart, i’m telling you, he totally has hots for me.” hyewon raises her eyebrows again and hands him the phone back.

“bet five quid he won’t think of the next time your guys meet as a date.” she folds her arms and sips on her salted caramel milkshake, and hyungwon raises his phone demonstratively. 

“let’s see,” he wraps his lips around his own straw too and sips as he types out a message. “sent. let’s wait.” he makes a dramatic face, pursuing his lips and curving his eyebrows in a sassy gesture, and his sister copies him. 

“mhm, prepare your money, brother.” she doesn’t manage to take another gulp of her milkshake when hyungwon’s phone vibrates with a new message.

he smiles, reading over and through the digital letters on his screen, and there’s an invisible dark grey cloud gathering over hyewon’s head. he turns his phone for the little girl to see, and she huffs and sulks.

‘would you like to meet sometime next week? i obviously mean for a date.’

‘sure, i’d love to. when are you free?’

hyewon reaches for her bag and gets her wallet out, finds a pound and puts it on the table. “it’s all i have,” she says with a pout.

hyungwon laughs and flicks his sister’s small nose. “i was joking. no money is worth the happiness.” he replies and messages kihyun with the date and time, and there are bugs running in his stomach and tips of his fingers. he can’t wait to see the other guy again. 

 

he is the danger of the area, the mafia’s son, the heir, the player. hyungwon’s face is known to the local junkies and scammers, his black baseball bat is the fear of many stray boys that run around and break shop windows for the sake of it, but even the police is useless in the face of hyungwon’s blood-eyed hound and the black metal nail puller he keeps attached to his motorcycle. it’s scary - to get in his way. it’s even scarier when he smiles as he strolls down the streets, maniacally and happily, like he just blew someone’s head off. people know better than to start a fight when hyungwon himself is in a good mood. he is overflowing with power. and if only they knew he is going on a date, if only they knew the source of that indestructible strength… hail the king, the one that dared get close to the mafia’s son; for he is fearless and crazier than him, he is his king. and as the famous quote from the movie goes, god help anyone who dares to disrespect his king.

hyungwon likes that mindset when he takes the tube all the way to london bridge because kihyun doesn’t come to london often and wants to take pretty touristy pictures with his camera. hyungwon doesn’t mind. he doesn’t mind it when he sees the cute short guy in tight blue jeans and a light black shirt with a heavy camera hanging from his neck, and he smiles with all his teeth, so brightly the sun reflects off the white enamel, and hyungwon is happy.

he feels the new story is about to begin and make him fall in love with the summer over and over again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyungwon is his first summer's love

it’s the first day of summer, hyungwon notes, when he falls in love again. it’s unsurprisingly sunny - the weather has been good for a few days now, warm and bright, but not even the clear blue sky can be as bright as kihyun’s smile. it’s incredible, really, how much joy hyungwon can feel from boiling and melting under the burning sun when the other is with him, putting his cheek on his heated leather-clad shoulder, forcing him to take the ‘stupid thing’ off and throwing the jacket in the air, rolling the sleeves of hyungwon’s t-shirt and studying the tattoos he hasn’t seen yet. kihyun, with his black hair and dark eyes and small body, is the brighter summer’s sun. 

it’s the first night of summer, and they’re walking around green park because it’s open twenty four seven, looking for a place to lie down and watch the sky. it was kihyun’s idea; he wanted to go stargazing but they were too lazy to move anywhere out of the city, so they gathered their belongings, bought food and a blanket and went picnicking. it’s about eleven in the evening, the sky is as dark as it can get in summer - a pleasant navy blue, a little dirty, a little cloudy, but it’s the most romantic setting the nature offers at this time of the year. honestly, it’s unlikely they see any stars at all, but kihyun is happy and hopeful, and hyungwon is a six-foot-tall fool with ten stones of love and nothing else. 

they settle down, kihyun on a blanket and hyungwon on his own leather jacket, and they’re sharing a bottle of wine and a pack of crisps between them. hyungwon rolls his tobacco and smokes and imagines the funny taste of their mouths if they finally get to the point of kissing. kihyun is a little shy; straightforward, fiery and feisty, but timid. it’s not the manners or the cultural background that makes him wait and take his time, it’s just the way he is - cute, small, hesitant. hyungwon barely restricts himself; after having been with minhyuk and his extravagant yorkshire-raised ass for seven years (and counting), it’s hard to find any inhibitions that can restrain hyungwon when it comes to dating. kihyun is a little fragile at heart, young and has yet the whole world to see, and hyungwon tries not to go beyond petting his tiny head and kissing his soft cheek when he finds something the other does cute. 

“you’re allowed to smoke in parks?” kihyun asks and munches on his crisps.

hyungwon shrugs and looks around. “no one cares anyways.” he tries not to smoke in front of the other, disciplined by his younger sister to contain himself, but habits are hard to deal with sometimes. the wine is good, it spreads through his throat and chest warmly and bitterly, but it’s good. “a cig?” hyungwon extends a pack of readymade ones to the other, and kihyun shakes his head. 

“no, you know i don’t smoke.” then he sighs and looks into the distance, breathing out the next words like they don’t matter, “have to save my words for singing.”

hyungwon barely resists the dramatic coughing. he opens his mouth with a raised eyebrow and genuine incredulity in his eyes. “for a what?”

“singing. i sing.” kihyun answers like it’s the most casual information he has said a thousand times before. 

“you sing.” hyungwon deadpans, and the white thin smoke from his cigarette spirals and dances away from him, in the direction of the light summer’s breeze. 

“i sing.” kihyun repeats, and maybe there is a note of amusement in his naughty little eyes. 

“and you never bothered to tell me?” hyungwon’s voice cracks, betrayal apparent to the depth of his throat and heart. 

“i didn’t think this information could be of any use to you? i mean, you already have vocalists in your band.” kihyun mumbles and puts his chin on his knees, and hyungwon is torn between cooing and apologising for possibly making the other sulk.

“we treasure all the musicians we can find,” he ruffles kihyun’s hair, “show me something next time, yeah?”

kihyun nods, continues gulping down the wine straight from the bottle, and they deepen into the comforting silence while hyungwon finishes smoking. 

“you know, this reminds me of something.” he smiles at the sudden soft memories that flash in his head, and kihyun perks up with curious eyes. “we used to go stargazing, minhyuk and i, back in moscow. it was, what, four years ago now? what a great time.” he swallows more wine.

“how come you went there?”

“minhyuk had an exchange year back in uni, he chose an entire program himself, basically. i went with him, took a year off. we spent half a year in moscow, half a year in barcelona.” he smiles, memories of his not-so-long-ago youth causing a dreamy cloud in his head. “the summer spent with the moscow city lads was unforgettable. we climbed roofs - illegally, - crashed into people’s flats and drank their alcohol, played music in the streets and ate disgusting quick noodles for breakfast when we ran out of money. it was freeing, you know? there’s this house we climbed. it was in the centre and it was high enough to see every single piece of touristic attraction you could count. realistically it was obvious - nothing was as close as it seemed to be, but when you’re up there, watching the sun come down, listening to the police cars beeping and wondering if they were coming for you, drinking some cheap vodka with juice, being so close to your own end and never to the end of the world - everything seemed so insignificant. that glorious cathedral? i could squish it between my fingers.” 

hyungwon talks and talks, and kihyun watches his eyes sparkle in the dull light of the barely uncovered moon, somehow brighter than the entire cosmos. hyungwon always called himself the man of soul, choosing music to express his emotions rather than words, showing affection in gestures rather than confessions, feeling the moment rather than saving it for later to reminiscence. 

“twenty one, reckless and drunk, what more could we ask for? we took trains to some random towns our friends lived in and stayed at theirs’, with no intention to leave or sober up. it wasn’t because we were miserable, i mean, it was quite the opposite - there was happiness in everything we did, in everyone we met, even though they didn’t speak much english or were absolutely devastated at heart. we should travel some time, what do you reckon?” hyungwon asks out of nowhere and passes the bottle of wine over to kihyun.

“together?”

“why not? it’s bonding.” hyungwon smiles and reaches for a bag of tobacco, but kihyun’s hand wraps around his wrist, and they freeze. the other’s breathing harder than he usually does, and his gaze is fixed on where he’s touching hyungwon’s thin inked wrist, and he is so close. close enough for hyungwon to lean in. 

it seems like kihyun wants to say something, his lower lips twitching, but he stays silent, eyes down and knees on the grass, so close to hyungwon’s legs, and hyungwon feels the salty warm breaths caressing his skin. kihyun lets go of his wrists, and hyungwon uses the slight hesitation to put the freed palm on the other’s cheek. his eyes slowly wander from kihyun’s still covered lids to his nose and down to his lips and up, meeting his eyes right when he finally looks up. this is the moment. the moment on the first day of summer he’s going to treasure like art on his skin.

hyungwon leans down, slowly and carefully, like he is scared to break the calm of the night and the black shadows of their connecting silhouettes, and kihyun closes the final centimeter between their lips in an abrupt motion, putting both of his small palms on hyungwon’s jaw and bringing him closer, keeping him close and never letting him go as they kiss in the dim dull moonlight. first kiss of the summer, for the both of them.

kihyun is fervent, as if he is in a hurry to get everything done before the cinderella’s dress turns into rugs and her carriage - into a pumpkin. he kisses, trying to get the taste, to feel hyungwon’s plump lips as much as he can with his own thin ones, creating a beat and following it with his whole body. hyungwon presses himself even closer, two big hands cupping the small face, and he kisses back, rhythmically, hungrily and on the surface, tasting the wine on kihyun’s lips, covering them whole and refusing to separate for even a bit. 

kihyun parts his mouth and waits for hyungwon to act, take the lead and show what he wants, and hyungwon follows - presses his own open lips closer and slides his tongue into kihyun’s mouth, meeting the other’s wet and winey one, and kihyun breathes out louder, with a deaf note of desperation. 

‘i…” kihyun whispers into his mouth and kisses hyungwon’s bottom lip. his hands are unsure and hesitating, buried in hyungwon’s dry white locks, and hyungwon waits. kihyun’s lips are weak and only touching the other’s, and there are shy unsaid words in his breath. “i want you,” kihyun whispers in korean, in such a small fleeting murmur it’s almost silent, but hyungwon hears it, understands it, acts out on it, holds kihyun’s head in place and kisses him deeply, intertwining their tongues and causing the quietest little whine out of kihyun.

hyungwon slides one hand down to kihyun’s shoulder, down to the side of his chest and waist, gripping the shirt tightly, and his mouth is restlessly driving kihyun off the edge, playing with the other’s tongue and catching tiny soft whimpers. hyungwon’s hand slides down to the thigh, and kihyun pushes him down on the grass, following him immediately and nearly lying on top of hyungwon’s chest. he doesn’t care about grass in his hair, doesn’t care about the tumbled over nearly empty bottle of wine, doesn’t care about the spooky silence of the public park at midnight when kihyun shifts and puts his knee between his legs, and hyungwon’s hands slide to the smaller boy’s butt, resting there without touching much, and kihyun pushes himself down on him even harder.

“let’s…” kihyun wants to whisper but doesn’t want to separate for even a second, and hyungwon smiles into the kiss, anticipating the words he knows the other is about to say. “can we drive over,” he kisses hyungwon’s jawline, moves down to his neck, hides his face further to reach for the tattoo on the side, “to your place?” he finally asks and his lips stay on one place, soft and wet, finding comfort in hyungwon’s warm skin and beating pulse.

“yeah,” hyungwon replies in the same rough whisper and raises his leg just enough to brush over kihyun’s crotch, and the smaller releases a tiny whimper into his neck, biting the skin right after. hyungwon moves his hands to kihyun’s head, makes him move closer and caresses over the other’s hair, “let’s go,” he whispers into his ear, and kihyun nods but only follows when hyungwon sits up first. 

they race through the dark city on hyungwon’s motorcycle, breathing in the midnight breeze and rushing past the orange street lamps. kihyun’s head is resting on hyungwon’s back without a helmet because he never carries the spare one with him like a dumb fallen fool he is, but it’s quiet, empty and somehow ghostly protected by the moon above. kihyun wraps his hands tighter around hyungwon’s waist, presses his lips to the tattoo on his neck, traces the curved horns and the scaly fishtail of the creature with soft kisses. it’s like he’s drunk, drunk on love and half bottle of wine, drunk on the feeling of summer crawling under his skin with new feelings and emotions. 

the area is dead silent at that time of the night, no kilburn scammers or thieves attempt to ruin the calm of their ride; only the roar of hyungwon’s motorcycle cuts through the black streets. kihyun jumps down when they park, and hyungwon takes his hand and leads up the two stone stairs of the small front porch. hyungwon fumbles with his keys, and kihyun goes on his tiptoes to attack the back of his neck with soft kisses, and hyungwon giggles at the caressing sensation. they’re inside, hyungwon throws his bag away, and kihyun is already pressed against the wall, waiting for him to grab his face and kiss him hard again, and hyungwon does, with no hesitation but with smiles playing on his lips. kihyun is eager, kihyun is small but fervent, demanding after knowing he will receive it all and more, because hyungwon is a goner and a giver, fallen head over heels for the boy that’s leading him deeper into his own house by the hand. hyungwon only has the time to turn the switch on.

“where are we going?” kihyun asks after taking a few seconds to look around the living room and the kitchen and presses both of his hands into his.

hyungwon chuckles and leans down to nuzzle kihyun’s cheek. “upstairs.”

they climb up the round white carpeted stairs, and kihyun doesn’t resist the urge to slap hyungwon’s flat butt, at which he yelps and turns around to find the short guy looking even smaller on the two stairs below him. he settles on a giggle and continues hopping up the stairs that lead straight to the open door of the bedroom. hyungwon turns on the weak orange bed light, illuminating the ashy white walls, two windows facing the trees in his backyard, the crimson red leather headrest of the bed and the red silk canopy attached to the ceiling that only covers the area above the bed. it was minhyuk’s design. he loves red. 

“i just need a minute,” kihyun kisses him on the lips and jogs across the bedroom to the white door at the end, obviously the bathroom. hyungwon sits down on the bed, puts his phone on the night stand and sighs as the huge smile grows on his face, expressing all his feelings and emotions, and he falls on the sheets, absolutely and utterly happy. there’s nothing else in his head; there are no plans for the future, no words and no trains of thoughts, he never thinks when he is happy anyways. it’s summer, it’s never time for thinking.

kihyun opens the bathroom door in a few minutes and appears in the same shirt and just his boxers, his hands are hidden behind his back and he’s biting on his lower lip. hyungwon sits up, immediate adoring smile spreading his lips, and kihyun takes one needed step to the edge of the bed. 

“the light,” kihyun whispers, “can we have it off?”

hyungwon gets up and approaches the switches by the door and turns the dim orange bed light off, and the white room is dark, private and hidden, and the moonlight bounces off the walls, painting kihyun a nearly transparent colour. the small white light is still peeking into the room through the crack in the open door, and it’s enough, enough to see kihyun climbing on the bed, enough for hyungwon to sit back down and reach for the almost pale face, find the tiny sparkles in the sharp dark eyes, release the bitten bottom lip with his thumb. it’s a beautiful moment, it really is. 

they kiss again, slower than back then in the park, tasting the commitment and readiness, the desire radiating from kihyun’s body and the happy flutter spreading in hyungwon’s chest. he undoes the buttons on the other’s shirt slowly, one by one, pushing the sides apart and tracing every centimeter of the glowing clean skin with his fingertips, too clean in the white luminescence of the moon, so perfect and unmarked. hyungwon attaches his lips to the gentle skin of kihyun’s neck, sucking and biting on the chosen spot, while the shirt is sliding down his shoulders and his arms, until it falls and kihyun discards it on the carpeted floor. 

kihyun’s skin is so tender, seemingly so easy to break, and hyungwon moves away with a pleasant satisfaction at the growing mark. he want to draw patterns on his neck, write stories on his chest, whole novels on his stomach if only he could, but he only has his mouth and teeth and tongue to carry out the mission, taint kihyun’s skin with memories of the first summer’s night, hoping it stays for as long as it can. if not physically, then maybe hyungwon can make him remember the moment with his perceptions, imprint his own body behind kihyun’s eyelids, leave an impression so unforgettable kihyun will want to write poems about it.

they take hyungwon’s t-shirt off together, and kihyun’s small hands and eyes are caressing his chest in a second. he studies the images on his thin chest, traces the kanagawa wave with his fingertips on his right pec, reads the vow on the sheathed katana on the skin stretched over his sternum, scrutinises the black free birds flying up his ribs on one side and the customly designed symbols on the other. his torso is chaotic, a mix of realistic mythological designs, faces and natural elements. his stomach isn’t as covered as the top part of his body, there are clean spots around his navel and on the sides, but new figures peek above the waistband of his jeans. 

kihyun kisses every single monster, follows the curve of the chinese dragon on his chest with his tongue, briefly sucks on his small dark nipples and licks his way around his left one over the long jellyfish that swims above it. hyungwon’s hands are restless, inked fingers touching kihyun’s soft waist and sliding up and down his back, his own hands almost deadly scary in the dark of the room, like shadows on the illuminated clean skin of the other. kihyun discovers new places to love on his arms: the defeated mythological horned goat letting tiny little scorpions eat him alive on his left bicep, or the clean empty spot between the wolf on his shoulder and the collarbone, or the seemingly delicate black flower design on the said collarbone that’s so contrasting with the animal under it, its mouth wide open and canines exposed, waiting for the pretty flower to finally fall down and lose its beauty between the monster’s jaws.

kihyun leans in more, rising on his knees and easing access for hyungwon’s hands to his still clothed butt, and hyungwon uses the position, slides his tingling fingers under the waistband and feels the soft malleable flesh, splits the small yet full halves apart, big palms covering them mostly, and kihyun breathes harder into his skin, biting his way up hyungwon’s chest to his mainly clean neck. hyungwon slides the boxers down, and kihyun helps with one hand, too unwilling to detach himself from silently praising hyungwon’s skin, his body he turned into a living canvas, his outer demons and superficial monsters. they throw the useless piece of clothing on the floor, and hyungwon’s hands are back on kihyun’s soft butt, skin imperfectly unsmooth but so satisfying to touch, to knead on, to grasp when the other bites particularly hard on the already marked spot on his neck, and hyungwon slides his fingers down, right in between, feeling the gentle and clean rim, and kihyun gasps, hugging him tightly and pushing his ass back, desiring the friction. 

hyungwon kisses the shell of his ear and leans back, and kihyun falls on top, refusing to separate for even a second. he reaches for the zipper on his jeans, and kihyun sits up on his knees, helping him to get out of his pants. they slide the jeans and the underwear down together, and the his hard-on mounts up, finally released and breathing the same fresh air. kihyun bends down, close to the cock resting on his stomach, but his mouth touches the skin of his hip bone, another image done in black ink, and hyungwon exhales sharply, still patient but sensitive like a naked wire. kihyun takes his time, kissing his way down to hyungwon’s legs, over the horns and metal wires wrapping his thigh like a garter. hyungwon is lanky, tall, his legs take up most of his body, and kihyun realises it when he looks between them and marvels at the amount of skin he has yet to taste, but his own excitement and turned on butterflies in his groin make him give up, fall on top of hyungwon’s bony inked body and kiss him on the lips, erections pressed to each other and searching for friction. 

a soft throaty sound releases itself from kihyun’s mouth, and he rubs against hyungwon harder. hyungwon breathes out a moan, more from the way kihyun’s movements look than from the way they feel, and he grips his hips to stop him, inhales and sits up. kihyun’s gaze is dark, unquestioning, and he looks both soft and sexy, innocent with his slightly ruffled hair and sparkling eyes yet lustful in the way his chest rises with heavy breathes, in the way the bites hyungwon left descend from his neck to his stomach, and he needs to cover his skin in more, make it red, purple, blue, yellow, grey, black, taint in everything he can take with him from this first beautiful night of summer. 

hyungwon reaches for the bedside table and takes out a bottle of lube and a condom, and kihyun gets on all fours, and hyungwon is not used to such compliance and goodness, hasn’t encountered anyone that would wait for him for a long time, and kihyun is the most precious boy hyungwon’s tainted hands had the honour to touch. 

he covers his fingers in the runny liquid, reaches his clean hand for kihyun’s organ and gently slides his fist up and down, increasing the sensitivity and making the other relax, and only after kihyun releases a quiet breathy moan does he touch the rim and feels it contract at the sensation. hyungwon takes it slowly, waits for kihyun to be comfortable, and when the sees him let go, pushes a finger in, and kihyun whimpers with his mouth slightly parted. his head falls down, the muscles of his almost transparent white back move with each breath he takes, and hyungwon goes further, searching for the spot, pressing against the tight walls, all while barely recognising the small drops of sweat gathering on kihyun’s nape.

the prolonged breathy moan sounds like music in the night, and hyungwon presses on the spot again, making kihyun raise his head and moan again, high and melodic, and hyungwon knows he didn’t lie when he said he sings. still pumping kihyun’s erection in a fist, he adds another finger, and hyungwon knows it’s the tender sentiments he feels for the boy that allow him to go torturously slow, focus on the tense or relaxed state of his back, listen into the sounds, tolerate the pressure around his fingers. kihyun starts whispering something, half-english, half-korean, interrupted by whimpers and gasps, and hyungwon recognises ‘please’ and ‘i want you’, said deliriously but somehow so confidently that hyungwon speeds up, three fingers in, and the other starts moving against him. he would like to see how fast kihyun can come from just this stimulation, if the feeling and the idea of it can drive him off the edge just as much, but it’s the first night of summer, their first night together, and hyungwon is a desperate romantic when he’s in love. and heavens know he is in love with the boy underneath him. 

hyungwon removes the fingers, plays around the ring of muscles, twists his hand and pushes a thumb in and sits on his heels. bites into the pale full cheek, unending pressure inside the other keeping kihyun busy with his own pleasure, and hyungwon is so driven with the visual sensations, with kihyun’s body and his butt, with his asking whimpers and tiny whispers. hyungwon listens, listens and gives up, getting on his knees again and freeing his hands. kihyun breathes hard, waits patiently as hyungwon puts a condom on and covers himself in lube, he keeps his head hanging low, and the moonlight makes him small back glow, and hyungwon smiles at the reddening bruise on his butt cheek. kihyun is so deliciously beautiful, clean like a meringue, and hyungwon just wants to bake the sweets for a tiny bit more for them to tinge a slight pink.

he grips kihyun’s hips, slides in, kihyun gasps and tolerates, breathes hard and sweats, and hyungwon leans forward to leave kisses all over his damp back and shoulders, pushing in more and more, and kihyun’s mouth is open and eyes closed, and he is so beautiful, like a dream, like the first fleeing love in summer, except hyungwon doesn’t intent on letting go, hugging kihyun around his waist and burying his face in his skin. hyungwon moves, slowly, carefully, and kihyun moans again, and his arms start to tremble. hyungwon rises and brings the other with him, attaches him closer to his chest, and they move together like that, bending their knees and pushing their hips against each other, in unison and for mutual pleasure. kihyun’s hands are resting on top of hyungwon’s he keeps wrapped around his stomach, and there has never been a sight prettier than their arms linked together, tattoos in black ink on hyungwon’s tanned skin and kihyun’s clean pale glow, and they look beautiful together. 

beautiful is the outline of kihyun’s unmarked soft body pressed so tightly against hyungwon’s inked thin hips, beautiful is the curve of hyungwon’s spine as he hunches down to kiss the other’s neck and shoulders, beautiful are the sounds kihyun releases into the night. they’re so slow, so painfully slow that kihyun has the urge to cry, beg for the release to come sooner, and he grips hyungwon’s wrists, desperation readable in every ounce of his body. he whispers a tiny ‘please’, and the first tear slips down his cheek, the tear of ephemerality and immense amount of pleasure that doesn’t seem to end but doesn’t stay either.

hyungwon lets go and pulls out, and kihyun lies down on his back, and hyungwon doesn’t quite remember what he is supposed to do, not when the other is so vulnerable and pure with his legs spread to accommodate him, not when his eyes are wet and silently begging, not when his chest is rising heavily, and hyungwon knows he is the cause all of it. he grabs a pillow and puts it under kihyun’s knowingly raised him, holds his soft thighs and slides back in again, and the other throws his head back. hyungwon doesn’t have the strength to stay away anymore, he falls on his elbows and finds kihyun’s mouth with his own, kissing him with all the sentiments and desire he doesn’t know how else to express. 

and this time they move fast, making the skin slap and the bed shake. kihyun whimpers into his mouth and grabs his hair, feelings suddenly overflowing him from the inside, and hyungwon moans into his skin, tiredness and pleasure spreading through his body at the same time, making his bent arms shake and his hips go out of rhythm, but none of it matters when kihyun hugs him close, cries into his ear and comes untouched, right between their bodies. hyungwon doesn’t stop. kihyun shakes with oversensitivity, whispers his ‘it’s okay’s and ‘it’s alright’s and ‘i want to see you come’ with a trembling whimpering voice, claws at his inked skin and contracts around him, and hyungwon’s breath is stuck in his lungs. he buries himself deep, gasping into kihyun’s skin, and comes with the orgasm rushing down his entire body. he only manages to sway his hips a few more times with the last sensations and drops dead, face pressed somewhere in the crook of kihyun’s wet neck, and only their breathing resonates through the otherwise quiet bedroom. 

kihyun hugs him tightly. hyungwon doesn’t want to let go, but the uncomfortable position gets the best out of him, and he slowly pulls out to kihyun’s breathy whimpering. he cleans them with the wet tissues and throws the condom in the bin under the bed, and kihyun quickly gets under the duvet, black eyes still glistening and watching hyungwon tiredly yet with some kind of scared anticipation. hyungwon gets under the covers too and throws himself on the boy, hugging him so tightly the other pretends to choke, and he giggles. 

kihyun whispers a soft thank you and closes his eyes, and it’s the atmosphere none of them wish to destroy. it’s a warm summer’s night, they’re together, in hyungwon’s bed, surrounded by each other and each other only. hyungwon loves summers. they always bring something so exceptionally good it makes him overflow with this kind of happiness that remains for the rest of his life. like moscow roofs, like their first performance as a band, like the first ever tattoo he got once he finished school. like kihyun. 

 

waking up never felt so hot and uncomfortable. physically hot. it’s boiling outside, and in the bedroom, and hyungwon’s body is boiling too, and - oh god. kihyun opens his eyes to find the man he fell in love with next to him, his long thin tattooed arms wrapped around his stomach and his puffy yet still pretty face, half covered by messy dry bleached hair, drooling on his pillow. it’s boiling hot here, too stuffy, too uncomfortable with the bony elbow pressing into his side, he’s sticky and sweaty, but there’s an incredible man next to him that kept him close to his warm skinny side the whole night. it’s good kihyun’s on a summer break; he doesn’t have to wake up early, doesn’t have to go anywhere, doesn’t have any obligations or plans. he can lie in someone else’s bed and bask in the memories of last night. beautiful memories, the ones that will definitely stick with him for the rest of his life. he suddenly doesn’t want this moment to end. no, he has trust in hyungwon, knows it’s not something that’s going to vanish after a moment, but it’s a sad thought to have - to think that the summer won’t last forever. london won’t last forever. bites on his body won’t last forever. 

he detects a movement somewhere by the door and raises his head as much as he can to find a beautiful black cat crawling towards the bedroom. he knows hyungwon has a cat or two but he didn’t have time to look around the place, really, he had more important things to do. 

the cat sees him looking at it and stops. kihyun smiles, although that is a bit stupid, but it seems enough to gain the creature’s trust and for it to resume it’s quiet walking towards the bed. it jumps up, and kihyun hopes it won’t stomp on his face like some cats tend to do, because waking hyungwon up with a shout and leg kicks doesn’t seem like a good idea. instead, the black something paws at hyungwon’s naked shoulder, and when the man doesn’t even bulge, climbs on the pillow and paws at it instead, warming up its claws. kihyun is looking, observing, noting how even hyungwon’s cat has something of him - just as pretty and graceful and annoying, although a bit too thin. kihyun has to check hyungwon’s fridge. 

hyungwon doesn’t bulge even when the cat lies in the little space between kihyun’s neck and hyungwon’s face, definitely disturbing kihyun’s peace but causing no trouble for the other man. he’s either an incredibly tough sleeper, or is just used to it. the pet arches its flexible black spine right into hyungwon’s nose, stays like that until the other breathes in and maybe finally feels something as he snorts and releases a cough. the cat nuzzles into his neck, licks his face and inserts its claws right into hyungwon’s shoulder tattoos, and then he moves.

‘wha’…” he slurs in his sleep, frowning and twitching his shoulder. “go ‘way,” he breathes out and whines with a hoarse voice when the cat doesn’t stop what it’s doing. kihyun giggles at the other man’s suffering, and he finally removes his arms from his waist to catch the cat. “go,” he hold the creature above him and turns around to let it go, and it quietly jumps on the floor. hyungwon sighs with all the disappointment and pain in his chest and turns towards kihyun again to hug him, stronger and closer this time. “mornin’.” 

and that’s all hyungwon does before falling asleep again. it’s not cute, kihyun thinks, he can’t just bring him home and stay a dead weight on his shoulder. he should be at least more entertaining, kiss him good morning and offer coffee, or something. kihyun pinches his shoulder, hard, with his nails, and hyungwon whines. 

“wha’ a fuck,” he croakes out and buries his face into the pillow, as if it can help him escape from his morning execution. 

“morning, darling, i want coffee.” kihyun says specifically loudly and shakes his shoulder, and hyungwon frowns and whines harder.

“i work late, wanna sleep,” he mumbles, and when kihyun bites him on a shoulder, yelps and jerks away. “ion’t deserve such abuse,” he wheezes and lies on his back, opens his eyes slowly, hollow sadness glistening in his irises instead of the summertime happiness. 

kihyun lies on his shoulder and smiles sweetly. “i want coffee.” he informs him, and hyungwon groans and attempts to sit up. his hair is a mess, his eyelids are hooded unevenly, his face is puffy and looks funny, but kihyun smiles at the sudden tender fluttering in his heart. some people just aren’t made for mornings, and hyungwon is the unlucky one. there are hickeys on the side of his neck that kihyun left last night, and he quickly looks down at himself to find a whole trail of bruises from his collarbones to his chest to his stomach. now that’s extreme and will definitely last for at least a few days. he doesn’t mind though. it’s a pleasant memory. 

hyungwon scratches his face, still trying to wake up, and kihyun lies leisurely in his bed like it’s where he belongs. hopefully he does. it’s a nice bed. 

“you probably need a spare toothbrush and stuff?” hyungwon asks and looks back at him with all the regret and morning hue in his eyes. kihyun nods and smiles at his tortures he himself can’t relate to, because mornings are beautiful and so is hyungwon’s tattooed back, the huge scary raven spreading its wings and screaming with its sharp beak. its eyes are white and glowing, and kihyun can only praise whoever the master was because the work is truly magnificent. like everything on hyungwon’s skin. 

the tall man sighs and throws the duvet off, gets up and walks towards the table opposite the bed by the window, in what his mother gave him, absolutely bare and unbothered. kihyun lies even more comfortably and scans the broad back and the thin waist and the long curved legs with tattooed round calves, and -- is that a snake on his butt?

“you have a snake tattoo on your arse?” kihyun asks incredulously and can’t help the crack in his voice, somehow utterly shocked at the new image he didn’t quite expect. 

hyungwon hums, registering the question. “yeah.” he replies casually, rummaging through something on his table, and kihyun doesn’t quite feel satisfied with the answer, so he gets up, throwing the embarrassment away, and walks all the way to the tall naked figure. it’s a snake, on his left buttcheek, it’s a curved realistic snake sliding along and across a knife. kihyun drops on his knees and pokes the hard flesh, the thin bottocks that’s so flat yet tense it doesn’t even jiggle, and leans forward to bite it. hyungwon exclaims and looks behind himself, throwing whatever he had in his hands back on the table.

“bloody hell, what has my arse ever done to you?” there’s a slight hysteria in his voice, and kihyun just smiles and proceeds to kiss along the whole slimy length of the reptile. he loves hyungwon’s tattoos, how he turns his body into a canvas and allows some talented people paint it in whatever he wishes. 

“why did you even get it?” he asks but doesn’t criticise, he’s rather intrigued by it. what if he had to do some squeamish business while getting tattooed? wouldn’t it be awkward?

“don’t know, minhyuk did it, i didn’t mind.” hyungwon replies and turns around with a packed toothbrush in his hand, and kihyun is face to face with the other man’s crotch. hyungwon raises an eyebrow and kihyun smiles sheepishly, getting up. he recovers his mind and registers the other man’s words.

“minhyuk tattoos?”

“yeah, he’s a tattoo artist, half of the stuff on my body is his work.” hyungwon hands him the toothbrush and looks at kihyun’s thinking face while he tries to process the fact that minhyuk is that talented. he is thrown out of his thoughts when hyungwon leans down and hugs him, just like that, out of nowhere, with his warm and slightly sticky bare skin, and kihyun is a little bit caught of guard by the sudden display of affection. he hugs back. “want to shower together, or are you shy?” hyungwon asks and kisses his neck, and kihyun decides that he doesn’t mind. they go together. 

 

when they get out in their towels, hyungwon walks around the bed and collects all the dirty clothes they scattered on the floor the previous night, kihyun finds his phone in the jeans he left in the bathroom and shamelessly uses hyungwon’s charger. he really doesn’t want to wear the same clothes again for the whole day, but there isn’t much he can do. hyungwon’s clothes are too black and big for him anyways. 

now, that’s a thought. kihyun follows the other man’s movements as he stands in his huge wardrobe that’s spread along the whole the wall and pulls his black boxers up his legs, and an idea is born in his genius brain. 

“hey, do you ever wear something that’s not black?”

hyungwon freezes, and maybe there’s a shiver running down his back. kihyun smirks, outright smirks because he knows he hit it - the sensitive spot. the other slowly turns his head in his direction, and there is genuine fear in his big doe eyes.

“w-what?” kihyun doesn’t miss the stutter and his smirk grows.

“black, you’re only wearing black. how about you wear something else?”

hyungwon gulps and turns towards his clothing racks, scratching his head nervously. “well, i do wear white sometimes.” his voice grows quieter with every uttered word, and kihyun is enjoying this way too much. 

“the shirt you wear to work doesn’t count, it’s a uniform. i want something of your own.”

hyungwon quickly grabs a pair of black jeans and starts putting them on. “i have work soon, i should hurry up.” he exclaims, and kihyun runs up to him and grips his wrists, disabling him from sliding the black fabric further up his legs. 

“your work starts in two hours, we have plenty of time to choose your outfit for today,” kihyun smiles widely and forcefully pulls the jeans down, to which hyungwon screams and squats, trying not to lose contact with his favourite piece of clothing. kihyun pushes him, the tall man falls down, legs all tangled up and immobilised, and kihyun looks through the shelves, drawers and stuff on hangers, but is distracted by a tight sudden grip on his ankle.

“no, we’re not doing this, kihyun!” hyungwon shouts from his worm-like position on the floor, and when kihyun doesn’t react and just shakes his leg to get the hand off, bites hard into the calf, making kihyun shriek in his turn. 

“jesus--fuck! are you a bloody dog?” kihyun exclaims in pain when it suddenly hits him and he snickers. “your kitten couldn’t have gone too far, could it?”

kihyun sees the way hyungwon’s face turns pale and his eyes widen, and there is genuine fear in his big black irises. “what, no-no, no, no, kihyun, no!” he grips his ankle tighter and attempts to get out of his jeans, but it’s all in vain when kihyun kicks it off and runs out of the bedroom.

he doesn’t bother checking the other two doors and runs down the stairs, ending in the space between the kitchen and the living room, and there he spots it - a creature, lying carelessly on the white window sill, enjoying the sun and unsuspecting of its fate. it’s not the same black cat he saw in the morning, so he approaches it and pets its head first; the cat doesn’t even mind, just opens its big green eyes and gives kihyun a look before resuming its resting activity. such a nice pretty cat.

hurried heavy steps echo behind him, and kihyun grabs the cat under its stomach and presses it to his still bare chest just when a very shaken hyungwon runs into the room in just his underwear and with a very terrified look on his face. 

“let her go!” he shouts, and kihyun holds the pet in his stretched out arms in ‘the lion king’-style, except it’s not a celebration of birth of a royal baby. it’s a celebration of death. 

“do as i say, and the cat stays safe.” kihyun utters in a grave strict voice, and hyungwon puts his hands together in a praying gesture. he even bent his knees as if to match kihyun’s height or drop on the floor and beg. he can, but it won’t change anything.

“please, kihyun, i’ll do anything, just don’t touch harpy, my baby, let her go, she doesn’t deserve such a gruesome death, she has never done anything bad in her entire life, she’s just a little kitten--”

kihyun would stop and let the soft pretty cat go, but he is enjoying the whole thing way too much. hyungwon is cute when he’s on the verge of tears. and how could he possibly be intimidated by him at first? wild, really.

“hyungwon. just go upstairs and let me choose some clothes for you.”

the other gulps way too loudly and doesn’t stop the silent begging in his eyes. kihyun cocks his head to the side, and hyungwon breathes in. “but please let her go after?”

kihyun barely resists the urge to laugh. “i’ll have to see about that.”

hyungwon gulps again. “okay, let’s go upstairs then, we’ll get dressed.”

he doesn’t trust the other’s apparent bluff. “make me coffee first. no sugar, just milk.”

the other starts moving slowly, head still half-turned in his direction, and only when kihyun makes sure hyungwon is busy fumbling with something on the kitchen counter, does he run up the stairs with the cat pressed tightly to his chest. he vaguely hears hyungwon swearing behind him but there is no way he can catch him and take the pet away from him. kihyun has a goal, and he will reach it. even if it costs him a few scratches on his fingers from the tightly pressed paws. 

hyungwon runs into the bedroom when kihyun is already by the wardrobe, and his eyes are furious now. “you promised to let her go!”

“after you wear what i tell you to wear and swear on your cats’ lives to wear it for the rest of the day.”

and desperate wheeze leaves hyungwon’s chest and he gives up. “fine. fine, you win, but please don’t harm my baby.”

kihyun already wants to break the act and let the poor creature go, but he has to make sure everything is done properly. he gestures for hyungwon to come closer while he holds the cat with one arm and goes through the clothing racks, looking for something colourful. hyungwon sits on the bed. kihyun finds what he was looking for.

“yes!” he gets out a pair of tight blue jeans, fresh and clean, by the smell of it. “perfect.”

hyungwon groans. “no.” kihyun throws the jeans in his direction, and they land on hyungwon’s crouched spiny back. kihyun rolls his eyes at the other’s martyr act. 

“wear them.” when hyungwon doesn’t move, he bring his hand to the cat’s little face. “now.”

hyungwon immediately jumps up and scrambles into the tight pair, and kihyun caresses the soft kitten cheek contently. the other man looks… unbelievably unsurprisingly good. kihyun even loses his threatening demeanor for a second as he scans the perfectly fit jeans hugging the perfect fit legs, a little wrinkly in the area of the butt but so stretched out around the thighs and calves, and really, hyungwon can be an abercrombie model or something, he can just wear his damn pants and walk around with bare torso and probably get cash off the street. kihyun’s initial intention was to laugh at the funny image in his head when he imagined hyungwon wearing something colourful, face full of disgust and clothes unnaturally unstylish - for the comic relief. it’s a pity hyungwon looks good in everything. kihyun even gets an excited tingling somewhere in his guts at the sight. 

the next thing kihyun finds is a white t-shirt with a marilyn monroe print, and it’s so random and so out of character that he grabs it without a second thought and throw it to the other man, but that isn’t enough. sure, blue jeans, white shirt, it’s a fantasy lana del rey has been feeding him for years, but there is something missing, something spicy, something that would look so out of ordinary on the other man that people will turn their heads and ask, ‘is this really our alex?’

he nearly drops the cat when his eyes land on the rack with shirts and he catches the missing element he has been looking for - a flannel shirt. this, this is it. and what a colour it has - orange and dark green, worn out and faded, like it’s been washed every day for years, and it’s exactly what was needed. kihyun slowly turns around, and hyungwon’s eyes glisten with silent pleas and fear, and he nods with a wicked smile, holding the cat close and the shirt - in the direction of the other man. hyungwon sighs and walks up to take it and quickly puts it on, all this while staring at kihyun like he has disappointed him, like he had given him money and the shorter wasted it all on chicks and clubs. kihyun also takes out a pair of white adidas socks he knows the other man will never wear on his own, and hyungwon snatches them with the passive aggressivity. kihyun is content. he kisses the top of the well-serving cat and gently puts it on the floor, and it runs out of the bedroom. 

hyungwon sighs with all the pain and desperation and goes to the in-built full-height mirror on the wardrobe door, looking over his new dazzling look. 

“i feel disgusting, i look disgusting, my life will never be the same and my friends don’t know who i am anymore.” hyungwon deadpans with gloomy unemotional eyes and closes the wardrobe door before approaching the table and gathering all his essential jewelry - a necklace and a watch, both gold and surprisingly not black. they must be expensive as hell.

kihyun slips into his own old clothes and smiles. “i think you look hot.”

hyungwon chuckles bitterly. “who would possibly look hot in these rags? i’m getting rash.” he scratches his neck, and kihyun grabs his hands and forces him to look down at him, eyes to eyes. 

“your torture isn’t finished, sweetheart. i’ve been waiting for this bloody cup of coffee since i woke up, go make it for me.” kihyun says in the low cold voice before smiling and kissing hyungwon’s cheek. “you look nice.”

they go downstairs, hyungwon turns on the kettle with some water in it already and goes to the corridor to pick up his bag he dropped on floor last night. he finds his cigarettes and smokes on an empty stomach, and kihyun has the time to look over the place. it’s white and bright, homey, with lots of light leaking into the room through the glass door and windows that lead into the small backyard. there are amplifiers and a piano set up by the wall on the opposite side of the spacious room, right by the blue couches. guitars are nowhere to be seen. hyungwon leans on the kitchen counter and stares into the distance, all tall and gorgeous in his non-black clothes and with his dry frizzy hair. 

“cig?” he asks, as if automatically, and kihyun raises his eyebrows, because he knows the other knows. hyungwon just blinks and continues spacing out. maybe he really isn’t made for mornings, if it takes his mind over an hour to turn on. 

kihyun looks over the stuff on the counter. “why boiling the kettle when you have a coffee machine right here?”

hyungwon turns his head to look at the red new-looking coffee machine and blinks a few times. “right, coffee.” he hold the cigarette between his lips and gets nespresso capsules out of the glass box and continues fumbling with the machine until it starts making nose and pouring brown liquid into the cup with the beatles. “sugar?” he asks with a polite smile and raises a round red tin.

kihyun rolls his eyes. “milk and no sugar, hyungwon.”

hyungwon mouths a silent ‘ah’ and gets out another mug out of the overhead cupboard. the kettle is done boiling, and the other gets out a box with tea bags. “want a cuppa?”

“hyungwon! coffee, the button, press it, again, i’m waiting for coffee!” kihyun’s voice goes a little high-pitched as he loses his temper with hyungwon’s sleepy brain and slow reactions, and hyungwon jumps with widened eyes and puts a hand on his chest. ”sorry.” kihyun apologises and presses the button by himself so the machine squeezes the best out of the poor capsule.

they drink in silence. hyungwon blows on his milk tea and stares into nothing, kihyun mixes his milk coffee with a spoon and stares at hyungwon, and even his cats are dead silent. kihyun takes a large loud sip, hyungwon follows, and the room is quiet again. until hyungwon puts the mug on the counter and turns in his direction, finally focusing his eyes, and kihyun only has a second to put his own cup down before the other man takes two large steps and towers over him, casting a long dark shadow over his small figure, and they reach towards each other simultaneously. kihyun even gets on his tip toes.

they kiss with tongues going into the fight immediately, hyungwon’s hands on his cheeks and his own arms wrapped around the taller man’s neck, and the room is not silent anymore. it’s filled with breaths and smacks, with clothes rustle and tiny throaty moans when kihyun realises what he’s doing on his sober fresh head. he takes steps forward, making hyungwon shuffle backwards awkwardly until he hits the dining table in the kitchen space, and kihyun finally detaches his mouth from the other man’s.

“sit down.” hyungwon obeys and plops on the chair, gaze confused and hooded, and kihyun has no time for explanations when he drops on his knees and reaches for the button on hyungwon’s jeans. 

“what are you doing, i’ll be late for work,” hyungwon panics for a second and swallows when kihyun drags the zipper down. his thighs are so firm and the fabric stretches over them even more when he’s seated, when he spreads his legs wide apart to accommodate kihyun, and when he looks so surprised by kihyun’s sudden actions. he likes to surprise. 

“i want to suck you off,” he replies in a hurry and goes down. he already told hyungwon he looks great in blue jeans.

 

they do get to hyungwon’s work eventually. they even have an hour to spare before his shift starts, so they walk through the main entrance, like kings entering some peasant’s pub in all their glory and abundance as the sun plays in the gold of their ancestral jewelry and royal crowns, and hyena-like laughter immediately fills the acoustic space. 

“won, the fuck is that?” minhyuk guffaws with his head thrown back, and hyungwon rolls his eyes as he approaches the bar counter. 

“one more word, and i’ll cut your head off.” he utters in a tired low voice, and kihyun hops behind him with a big bright grin on his face. 

“he looks good, doesn’t he?” he asks and follow hyungwon’s example by sitting on the barstool right in front of a working minhyuk, who’s washing and wiping glasses clean. 

“i ‘aven’t seen ‘im wear that tablecloff since barcelona, and it’s been a long time, i mussay.” hyungwon rolls his eyes again at the remark. it’s a great atmosphere, really, when it’s just the three of them talking and it seems like the world around them doesn’t exist, when hyungwon unconsciously stomps his barstool closer to kihyun and puts his spidery fingers on his thigh, when at the same time he leans on his elbows and gives minhyuk a longing stare. minhyuk is smiling, blabbering about something unimportant, and he doesn’t need to ask - oh, what happened last night? it’s given that he knows, that he knows everything kihyun wants to vent about. or maybe it’s the bruises on their necks that give it away. 

“by the way,” minhyuk puts the washcloth down and leans on his arms, face suddenly serious, “we ‘ave a bookin’ nex’ week,” hyungwon cocks his head to the side for elaboration, “sum fancy hotel want an acoustic night for sum private party, dunno why they chose us, but the issue is we don't ‘ave a vocal, and i don’t sing acoustics.” minhyuk unloads the information on hyungwon’s shoulder and picks up another glass to clean.

“we don’t?” hyungwon seems genuinely confused, based on his frown and a further twist of his head. 

“well, duh, danny’s goin’ back to belfast for his mother’s b-day.” hyungwon opens his mouth in realisation and releases a prolonged belated ‘ah’.

“fuck, we don’t have a vocal.”

“i can sing.” kihyun jumps in as the idea suddenly comes to mind. hyungwon said they appreciate every musician they can find, so he must count too, right?

minhyuk drops the cloth again and stares. “you sing.” he deadpans. 

“he sings.” hyungwon confirms.

“i sing.”

minhyuk clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes with his head at the same time. “nice grammar revision there, fellas, but couldn’t you say earlier?”

kihyun shrivels a little as he feels judged and scrutinised under the sharp gaze, but the warm palm on his thigh helps his regain his voice. seems like everyone is mad at him for not showing off his talents at the first opportunity. 

“i just didn’t find the information important at first since you guys are so cool--”

“yeah, yeah, wha’ever, you’re in the band, kihyun.” minhyuk says like it’s the most casual thing to say, and kihyun’s brain freezes. 

“like, legit?” of course it’s something he wants. not because they get paid, not because he might get some admirers, not because fancy hotels increase his self-esteem, but because it’s hyungwon and minhyuk, and they need his help. 

“yeah, like, legit.” minhyuk replies and smiles, and kihyun can’t help but smile back. “but it’s no easy business, get ready to stay up la’e for practices and curse at joo’s neighbours when they threat’n to call the police.” this makes hyungwon laugh, and kihyun unconsciously releases a nervous giggle too. it’s going to be an exciting summer, he tells himself. he knows it’s going to be true.

 

the moon is exceptionally bright this night. it peeks through the slightly ajar window of the bedroom, pushing cool night breeze into the hot room and cooling their bare skin. it’s not nearly cold enough to freeze their hearts anyways. 

the nightstand lamp is on too, soft orange light intermingles with the blue shadows and illuminates them enough to flash every single detail of their bodies, every single claw and letter on hyungwon’s skin, every single soft curve and line of kihyun’s shape, but it’s not bright enough to ruin the intimate atmosphere, chase the air away with soft exhales that leave their lips and words that flow in the space between them. 

they sit opposite each other, legs bent and spread and within an arm reach, hands wrapped around each other’s organs and moving slowly, so unlike the time that keeps slipping away, although the summer has just begun. 

kihyun leans in closer, silently begging for a kiss. hyungwon obeys, covering the thin pink lips with his own and breathing in, feeling the sensation, feeling his own heartbeat, feeling all of kihyun’s sentiments in his closed eyes and shaky exhales. kihyun always wants more, always follows his heart and kisses deeper if that’s what he needs, and he needs it always, forever, needs hyungwon’s mouth on his and his tongue with his, needs their hands intertwined and bodies pressed closer. like hyungwon can run away from his own home. 

“let’s keep these moments until the summer’s over.” kihyun whispers and looks up, dark eyes glazed and soft, and hyungwon knows it’s when the boy wears his heart on the sleeve, when he lets the fragile part of him show and sharpen his perceptions, almost painfully so, and it shows in his grips and his eyes, his silent begs and trembling hands. as if hyungwon can seriously leave the city that raised him, behind.

“until summer, until autumn, until winter, until whenever you want, kihyun,” hyungwon whispers back and places another kiss on his lips, “you’re just two and a half hours away from me by train,” he kisses his cheeks, his forehead, “i promise you it will last longer than the three months of summer.” and the last words are so quiet, buried deep in his throat yet so clear, affirmative. kihyun collects all his limbs and gets on his knees, falling right into hyungwon’s embrace. he’s finally taller in this position and he hunches down to breathe into the other’s cheek, and he feels big warm palms tracing the arch of his back down to the curve of his bottom and back up, into his hair.

hyungwon’s skin is so warm, like he collects all the summer’s sun in himself and keeps it in under his shoulder blades until kihyun takes his clothes off. his back is curved and thin, and kihyun counts the bones of his spine with each breath he takes, down and up, into his dry hair, his neck, his shoulders. hyungwon inhales loudly, and kihyun leans back just enough to see the big eyes that look up at him with the same longing and quiet sentiments he’s seen the other express towards minhyuk. he loves him too. in the blink of the first summer’s week, he fell in love. 

kihyun grabs hyungwon’s small beautiful face and kisses him again, deeply like he always does, breathing in the other’s skin. they tumble over, hyungwon falls on his back and drags kihyun with him, right into the soft cool sheets. it’s warm, outside the windows and within their chests. it’s like kihyun’s little body always belonged in the embrace of mythological monsters and wires inked on the thin long arms, it’s like he’s the continuation of the strings, the clean patch among the marked field that’s so precious yet so tempting. kihyun’s skin is perfect, and hyungwon can’t do much about it other than cover it in his love. 

maybe it’s enough until the summer’s over. 

 

it was impossible to convince either of the three active band members to wear anything other than black, so kihyun put all his effort into forcing hyungwon, minhyuk and jooheon to at least button their black dress shirts properly. minhyuk categorically refused to even touch the black slim fit suit pants kihyun courageously found for the other man. he even bit kihyun’s hand when he attempted to tear the black jeans out of his grip, and so all the money went to waste. hyungwon, that sneaky bastard, accepted the pants with a polite smile and promised to change into them for the performance day, and kihyun had to learn the hard way that trusting every single warm gesture from the tall man never lead to anything good. he jumped into his old faded black jeans and pretended to forget the pants at home. he didn’t even have the audacity to act in any way repentant. 

jooheon, the cute ginger-haired drummer that hyungwon claimed to be his best friend since primary school, put on the dress shirt like a champ and rapped out an entire essay about why his instrument doesn’t allow him to wear suit pants and how badly such blasphemy may impact the environment, and it was so crazily fast and logical that kihyun had no other choice but to believe it.

he’s thinking about this now as the three musicians set up the small stage in the fancy hotel restaurant, and they look frankly ridiculous together. kihyun, all good in his white shirt and black suit pants and polished oxford shoes, seems more like the leader of their little pack, definitely much more than hyungwon. well, kihyun is definitely the leader of this particular night.

they practiced the tracklist all nights long in jooheon’s improvised studio in the basement, rewriting overused pop songs into something much better, fitting the music to kihyun’s vocals, awing at his undoubtedly amazing skills and gushing over his cute expressions when he sang. hyungwon broke a string staring at him, and kihyun took it as a compliment. they screamed at the annoying neighbour, pissed off the cashier guy at the nearest off-license store and got pissed, hyungwon and minhyuk smoked weed and drank desperado, jooheon broke the bass drum and got broke after buying a new one, and kihyun - kihyun fell in love. hoseok and hyunwoo kept calling him every day, asking if he wanted to hang out, but the only hang out places he wanted to be at were hyungwon’s house and jooheon’s basement. 

minhyuk always approached him face-to-face when they talked, closely and dangerously, like the first time they met. he suggested they harmonise. they spent hours and hours sitting on the floor in the dark studio room and singing when jooheon was passed out on the couch and hyungwon had a night shift. it was unfair, really. minhyuk was beyond the description of cool, his hands were warmer than the heater when they rested on his knees, and his eyes were sharp and dark like that of a carnivore. there were thorns on his wrists; the back of his right hand was a skeleton, every bone emphasised on the black background; a big scorpio on his forearm was torn apart by a capricorn, split in half and bleeding, and the segmented bubonic tail pierced through the goat’s chest. there were faces on his arms too, and the rest was hidden underneath the black wide t-shirt he always wore only to jooheon’s place. maybe it had a special memory or something. 

kihyun sits on the stool, microphone in front of him, and the only thing his mind is capable of focusing on is the messily covered hickey on hyungwon’s neck, his long tattooed fingers tuning the guitar, his dirty blonde hair he keeps brushing back. there are no lyrics in his head. there shouldn’t be any when he will sing his heart out to the man he loves, meaning the words he lets slip past his lips in key with music and emotions he’s so good at associating with songs. 

they warm up with simple singles that everyone knows and everyone can sing to. hyungwon strums his acoustic guitar, jooheon taps his cymbals lightly, minhyuk helps him with the back vocals, and life seems to simple, so relaxed. when no one’s really watching, it’s easy to let his mind go and close his eyes and focus on the light notes of ‘lost in japan’ hyungwon keeps strumming. do you got plans tonight? i’m a couple train stops away from london tonight, he wants to sing, because it’s more fitting to his life situation. the summer will be over, new semester will begin, and kihyun will leave this city for good. maybe they’re just a couple hundred miles away from each other, and maybe kihyun has enough money to throw on train tickets every weekend, but longing can’t bring them closer, can’t bridge the distance. crazy. he’s in love, and they’re just about halfway through june. 

there’s a song they practiced with hyungwon. when they stayed in the basement alone, when they talked all nights long to the soft tunes of the other man’s unconscious fingerpicking, when they revised the tracklist and kihyun said how much he loved singing his heart out to his favourite artists. it was when hyungwon started singing too, in his quiet chesty voice, somehow perfectly fitting with kihyun’s higher one and creating a combination he couldn’t even dream about. he was good at singing too, that sneaky bastard, yet he only snapped at kihyun for not singing immediately on their first meeting. 

so when ‘hold back the river’ comes next, hyungwon sits down on the chair as well and brings the mic closer to his mouth. he starts the tune, commences the song, and it feels strangely like a confession. maybe it’s not the most relatable song they can find, maybe it’s a bit too dramatic, but kihyun is a sucker for dramatic and romantic, and he wants hyungwon to know that he never intends on letting him go. while the summer lasts, he intends on singing his heart out, intends on making hyungwon join him at every single opportunity, intends on hearing him lowly sing-whisper into the microphone to support his own higher pitch on the choruses, and they sound so good together. like they are really meant to hold each other. 

hyungwon lets the power take over his voice and he harmonises perfectly during the final break of the song, means the words he’s singing. it’s probably the most beautiful kihyun has ever seen the other man - eyes closed, long hair brushed back, mouth kissing the mic as he sings and fingers running over the neck of his guitar automatically. he taps his foot to the beat of the drums, and kihyun smiles as he finishes the song, so deep in his love for the other man and music he creates.

he can dedicate a thousand sappy songs to hyungwon and it will never be enough, not when the summer takes only nine two days off the year and there’s a whole lot of memories left to engrave somewhere in his existence; there’s a whole lot of stories left to write on his skin; a whole lot of love confessions left to whisper into ears he knows will listen to him like it’s the last thing they wish to remember before the summer is over.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on twt @chaeleggiewon


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